Waiting for the Big Man in Red to Come

We are waiting for Santa to come to our home. We were reluctant to sleep (well at least two of us were and it wasn't me). We are hoping that Santa thinks that we are on his nice list since we haven't been so nice this month.

Well gotta go for now before Mommy and Daddy catch me on the computer!

~Ryan

Pre-Christmas in our Home

We have been preparing here for Christmas to come. The tree is up and decorated by mostly the kids (I'll have to upload photos after Christmas for you to see). I have hung up the special ornaments for the kids. The lotus blossom trinket that I picked up at Jogyesa Buddhist Temple in Seoul when we were there last year, the individual grandson/granddaughter ones that the kids have gotten from their grandparents and more. I have baked brown sugar cookies already (and have already tasted the ones that broke--mmmm good!!!!).

On the menu so far for Christmas is:

pineapple/cream cheese dip with crackers
Christmas ham
peas and pearl onions
corn
scalloped potatoes
homemade bread
various cookies
chocolate cream pie (that is if my dad is good)
Korean pear (got them from the Korean food market and boy are they good!!!!)
Korean rice cookies for Bella in particular but also for Ryan and Katie if they would like it

The kids are awaiting Santa's presence however the kids in this household haven't been on Santa's nice list this month (uh oh!!!!!). We hope that changes very soon as Christmas is just days away.

~Jen

The Monster...

Ryan now calls my van the most affectionate term possible from a boy...it's "The Monster".

Ryan: Mommy, we are bigger than that blue van next to us
Me: Yes sweetie we do
Jeff: So we are comparing now are we?
Ryan: We are taller than that car too!!
Me: (to Jeff) does that answer your question??
Jeff: (to Ryan) so is it a monster then?
Ryan: yes since we are bigger than the other blue cars on the highway...we're riding in The Monster

So Mommy doesn't drive a mini van anymore...it's "The Monster".

YIKES!!!!

Mini Van Momma

Never in a million years would I consider myself a mini-van person. They drive like school buses (or at least the one that I have tried years ago did).

Jeff and I have been going back and forth since February that we needed one...we needed space in the vehicle especially during the winter months with the kids and their coats. So we researched and looked but never really found anything we liked. If we spent the money on one, we want the vehicle to last for awhile.

So this Momma to three beautiful kids got herself an early Christmas present this year...a beautiful blue Toyota Sienna LE mini-van with some options on it. We picked it up the evening of November 25th from the same dealership that we bought our two Toyota Corollas from. Except this has more doo-dads and whiz-bangs than my 94 Corolla.

I'm officially a mini-van Momma.

Off to learn how to drive my mini-van (just wishing that we didn't find this right as the holiday shopping season was starting)...

What's for Dinner Mommy??

The inevitable question comes from the two oldest kids each late afternoon...what are we having for dinner, Mommy??? And today was no exception.

Ryan: Mmm something smells good...is it Shepherd's Pie, Mommy?
Me: No it's not Shepherd's Pie sweetie
Ryan: I can smell it all the way upstairs...it's NOT Shepherd's Pie???
Me: No it's a Korean dish that Mommy decided to try
Ryan: (screams of delight for almost a minute)
Me: Are you excited?
Ryan: (jumping up and down) Yeah Yeah Yeah!!!!!!!!

What I made is Taktoritang and some rice. I didn't do the spiciness level that they wanted but used 1 tablespoon. All three kids LOVED it immensely...

And quite frankly so did I...

~Jen

Giving of Ourselves to Others in Need

We donated food yesterday morning through the Boy Scouts to the local food pantries. The kids had picked out the food themselves to donate. The Boy Scouts came by our home to pick up the bag full of food. After that we went to the local mall on a playdate since they have a play area. We stayed there for an hour with the kids playing on one thing then rushing to play on another.

After the playdate, we were heading to the food court for lunch however on the way there and in the main part of the mall, we heard bell ringers and a brass band playing Christmas Carols. I immediately asked Jeff for three $1 bills...I knew the bell ringers' bell sound. I knew why they were there. I handed the money out to the kids.

Once we went around the Santa's Workshop building the mall employees were putting up we saw the Salvation Army band playing and saw two women bell ringers and the familiar red kettle. I read earlier this past week that the local Salvation Army needed bell ringers. They are desperate for them.

We walked up to where the band, bell ringers and kettle was and Ryan was the first one up to the kettle however he covered his ears because he didn't like the loud noise of the bells. The ringers noticed this and stopped their bellringing. Ryan placed his dollar into the kettle.

Bella was next and I picked her up to place her dollar bill into the kettle. Katie had helped her push the dollar into the kettle. Katie was next and she placed her dollar bill into the kettle. I stood behind the kids while they were doing this.

I noticed that a professional photographer was taking pictures of us...the kids putting the money into the kettle with me standing behind them. Afterwards, he introduced himself and took our names for one of the local papers (one of course we don't get). He said that he thinks that he thinks the "pictures will appear in tomorrow's (Sunday's) paper". He says that he hopes that Salvation Army will meet their goal of bellringers and of donations this holiday season. And so do we.

After the kids donating the money and our discussion with the photographer, I explained to the kids why we donated the money and put it into the kettle. In the food court, Ryan seem to catch on to everything that we did today...donating food this morning to people who don't have enough and donating money to people who don't have enough food, clothing or a place to sleep.

While waiting for Daddy to come back to the table with our food, he starts shouting out... "free food...free food". I had to explain to him that (1) he had to have food to give food away and (2) yelling free food in a food court wasn't a good thing to do.

While we are eating, we see the brass band walk past us. We caught them at exactly the right moment in time. They are done playing the Christmas carols for the day. They are done collecting money for now at this particular location but they will be back and if we hear the familiar sound of the bell ringing and see the familiar red kettle again, we will be donating money to them again. It's just something that I do each year that I see the red kettle and hear the bell ringers.

Today's newspaper has the article in it on page 3. We went out today to pick up copies of the paper for us. While we are out we are at the same mall again to buy winter boots for Jeff...okay not very interesting. However we were asked if we wanted to donate $2 to March of Dimes while we were checking out the boots. I look at my three kids and respond "yes".

We had a happy weekend this weekend helping others in need. And I'm glad to have helped my children to understand what it means to help another person. I just hope that they grow up helping others on a regular basis.

~Jen

Pumpkin Picking and Halloween Parade

Here's a few pictures from pumpkin picking and our Neighborhood parade!!




Pondering on how you decide on the perfect pumpkin.





"I found a pumpkin, Mommy!!!" Of course she found a better one after this.



Taking it easy while we're trying to pick out our 3 pumpkins!!!


Here's a few pictures from Halloween and our Neighborhood parade!!







Yes sir!! We're behaving for the state police officer.





Helping my Little Sister out with her candy!!



Checking on the candy in the bucket!! Yup it's still there!!!




Me having fun on the parade route still shaking the noisemaker that we got on the beginning.




Look who we found on the parade route!!! Now where is that R2D2 unit????



We dressed up to answer the door for the trick or treaters on Halloween night. Mommy dresses up every year to answer the door for the trick or treaters.

Bella's Song and Dance...Thanks PAPA!!!

Bella has a song and dance that she has been doing for a little while. It's called the Dupa (pronounced like doo pa) Dance and Song. The song has one word in it...and you probably already guessed it...DUPA!!!! For those of you that are Polish reading this, you might know the meaning of the word. For the rest of you just ask me privately and I'll let you know.

I do know that we can thank my dad (her Papa) for this one. He mentioned the word to her on several occasions.

One two three...THANKS DAD!!!!! THANKS PAPA!!!!

I'm crawling back into my hole now due to embarrassment...

~Jen

Conversations with Bella

Me: Are you a good girl today?
Bella: No
Me: Are you a bad girl today?
Bella: Yeah (then smiling and laughing from her)

Similar conversation 15 minutes later...

Me: Are you a good girl today?
Bella: No
Me: Are you a bad girl today?
Bella: No
Bella: (laughing over the puzzled look on my face)
Me: Okay Bella I'm not sure how to take that one
Bella: (still giggling)

Me: Bella please get off the computer
Bella: I workin (she is opening and closing the cd tray and "typing" furiously at the computer)
Me: You're working??
Bella: Yeah I workin

We'll chalk it up to a Wacky Wednesday...

~Jen

Annual Neighborhood Halloween Parade

One lady in our neighborhood each year organizes a fantastic Halloween parade for the little kids and some of the older kids in our neighborhood. Anybody who wants to dress up can.

At last year's parade, we were treated to 2 full sized R2D2 units (from Star Wars just in case you don't know) that danced to their own music. They were a huge hit with the kids.

This year's parade was no exception. We had adults dressed up as Darth Vader and 2 Stormtroopers and a teenager dressed up as Princess Leia (also from Star Wars).

We also had a real life State Police officer who was doing the parade route with his young son.

My parents came up to help out with the kids and take pictures of them trick or treating. We had the two oldest walking and Bella was in the stroller. By the half way mark, Katie was being carried, Ryan was dragging, and Bella was still in the stroller. About 2/3 of the way through the route, Katie was in the stroller, Ryan was being held and Bella was walking most of the rest of the parade route. By the 2/3rds mark, Bella knew the routine and how to do it. It took one hour from start to finish to do the parade.

When we got home they had to see their goodies. They each had a couple of pieces for snack and haven't asked for any more since.

Sorry I'm not showing any pictures just yet...I need to download them from my camera.

Now we just need to work on them saying "trick or treat" and then "thank you" (heck I'd take a Kamsahamnida as well).

~Jen

The Story of a Ladybug...

Today Ryan and I found a ladybug in the family room. Normally a bug in the house makes the kids upset that it is in their home and bugs live outside in their own homes however this was a different story today. Today the ladybug was more than welcomed into our home for a little while longer. We mourned the loss of the ladybug's life in our home for a little while.

The two oldest kids were sad to see the dead ladybug and Ryan didn't want it to go outside. He ended up giving me the dead little ladybug. So in the pouring rain with Ryan looking from inside the house, I said a prayer and buried the little ladybug in our front yard where he could see and right near some bushes that the ladybugs would frequent.

After the prayer and burial, I went back inside the house a little soaking wet and took off my shoes and coat. I gave my son a hug and after a small amount of time he went off to play with his cars a little sad that "his" ladybug was gone but better since Mommy took care of the ladybug by saying a little prayer over its grave.

We miss you little ladybug and hope that you are flying carefree in ladybug heaven.

~Jen

A B C

[*] A is for age: 21+ (you should never ask a woman her age)

[*] B is for beer of choice: umm none since it's way too gross...wine please or mixed drink

[*] C is for career right now: SAHM, preschool teacher, student of Korean adoption (it's a lifelong learning process), mediator, chef, maid, and wife just to name a few

[*] D is for your dog's name: Maggie

[*] E is for essential item you use everyday: diapers and wipes

[*] F is for favorite TV show: anything to take my mind off of my pain

[*] G is for favorite game to watch: my college basketball (GO SAINTS!!!!!)

[*] H is for Home town: Glenville, New York

[*] I is for instruments you play: voice (hey we have music time here in our home!!!), drum (or anything that looks like a drum), tambourine, egg shakers, homemade shakers, and piano

[*] J is for favorite juice: Apple

[*] K is for whose butt you'd like to be kicking right now: umm nobody that I'm aware of at the moment

[*] L is for last place you ate: Home

[*] M is for marriage: Been married for 14 years

[*] N is for your name: Mommy/Momma to 3, Jen to Jeff and friends, Jennifer to my family and extended family members

[*] O is for overnight hospital stay: Yes 2 times for 23 hour stays after surgery and 3 nights for my Katie girl who was hospitalized

[*] P is for people you were with today: My family

[*] Q is for quote: Okay who wants to learn something today??

[*] R is for Biggest Regret: Not traveling to Korea to pick up our other two children

[*] S is for relationship status: Happily married with 3 active kids

[*] T is for time you woke up today: 7:30

[*] U is for underwear you have on now: no way this is a family blog here and I'm not answering this one!!!!!

[*] V is for vegetable you love: fresh out of the garden sugar snap peas

[*] W is for worst habits: Dwelling on why people just can't get along and be friends

[*] X is for x-rays you've had: Chest (several times last year alone for pneumonia), and teeth

[*] Y is for something yummy you ate today: 2 Chocolate chip cookies (makes me want to bake more)

[*] Z is for zodiac sign: Aries

Korea's Missing Children

While I was looking something else up today I found a website on missing children in Korea. I searched it and was saddened to see the listing of 110 kids on it dating back to 1973 all the way to this year. Their ages vary from under a year old to 17 years old at the time of abduction.

It's very sad...very sad. I am thinking about all of these kids and hope that they get returned to their families soon.

~Jen

Our Agency's Reunion Picnic

We traveled to our adoption agency today to celebrate with other adoptees and their families the 27 years that this agency has been doing Korean Adoptions. It was a reunion with the older adoptees with the younger ones along with their parents, grandparents, etc. We had the founders of the Korean program for our agency present as well for the picnic. It was a bittersweet moment when I learned of them closing their program a few weeks before this event.

I made something fitting for Chuseok. I made 녹두나물 for the picnic. I didn't know that this was typically served as a part of the traditional Chuseok foods but I learned that the morning of the picnic while searching for the Hangul online for the name of the dish I made. How completely fitting don't you think??

At our table we had my parents, one of my friends who adopted 20+ years ago through this agency, her two girls (my girls' mentors) and one of her daughters' friends. Unfortunately Ryan's mentor was busy and couldn't attend the event. I managed to share a chair with my husband and Katie as I don't think there was enough room at our table for another chair.

The potluck picnic food varied from 만두, 잡채, my 녹두나물, to taco salad, fried chicken, brownies, Ggae Gwa Ja, chocolate chip cookies, and more.

We saw friends of ours there from the parenting class that we took at our agency and friends of ours who adopted as well from our agency so that was really nice although we did alot of running around with our kids. We saw some familiar faces from 무지개 캠프 which was extremely wonderful.

I had one mother come up to me while I was waiting in the art room for some supplies and told me that she absolutely loved Rising Stars at 무지개 캠프 this year. She got alot of information out of it and really appreciated all of the effort that myself plus the two other mothers put into that class of 무지개 캠프. Hearing this from another mother who remembered me from camp was just heartwarming. I am so glad that we made such a huge impression on this mother.

The kids had a blast there. The girls sat with their Korean mentors and ate their meals. Katie even went up with her mentor, Kathleen, to get some desserts (I believe it was twice). After the lunch, we listened to the speakers talk about the history of our agency. I videotaped the speeches as it was that important to me and, I feel, to the kids as they get older.

After the speeches, we worked on painting the ceramic tiles with the help from The Pottery Place. They also had a bouncy bounce for the kids however my kids had fun just running around the gym.

We had a family picture taken with our social worker as she has been there for us for all three kids. Afterwards we had our last post placement visit with her. I need to pick out pictures, write letters to the foster moms and such yet, our last visit is done (at least for now with our social worker). I know that down the road when things crop up, we know that she will be there for us to answer our questions, to help us understand the adoption emotional rollercoaster that our children might be going through and more.

While it's a bittersweet moment for us and our adoption agency, Jeff and I have no fear that our social worker will be there for us when we need her. We hope so much that this potluck picnic will become an annual event. And I know other families would love to see this as well...

Chuseok Celebration

추석 잘 지 내 새요 Chuseok jal ji nae sae yo
추석 잘 보 내 새요 Chuseok jal bo nae sae yo

This coming weekend is Chuseok 추석 (otherwise known as Hangawee 한가위). Chuseok is a 3 day holiday considered to be like a Korean Thanksgiving. Traffic in Korea is apparently a nightmare since I read most people live in a city. Koreans visit their ancestral home and thank their ancestors for the harvest.

We, as a family, are learning more about the holiday from Chuseok Info for Kids, Chuseok Information, and More Chuseok Information.

So what are you doing for 추석???

~Jen

September is a Special Month for us

In my family, I first started as a wife. Jeff and I got married back in 1994 just this very month...has it really been almost 14 years??? Seems like only yesterday that I married my love. Hard to believe that he just graduated college in May 1994 and that I graduated from college the year before. Hard to believe that we had family and friends present at the church that my grandfather did some work in many years ago, the church that I attended since I was little, the church where I learned to sing German Christmas carols and Latin chants in, the church where I was the youngest choir member in (joined at age 17).

Jeff and I started off as a young happy couple living in NJ. We eventually added a puppy in 1997, Jasmine. We lost her too young...she was only home less than 2 weeks. God I hate puppy mills!! After Jasmine's death came Maggie...she's a Jersey girl and comes from a breeder near the Jersey shore. She came home in late August 1997.

Then this month in 2004 one day before our 10th anniversary, we got the phone call about a referral. That referral was Ryan. We accepted his referral on our 10th anniversary. It's a very special time for the three of us. It's a story that I won't stop telling to him. How it came to be that this little guy who was 4 months old waiting for a family came to join ours.

~Jen

Something to Think About...

I'm just wondering if you have read this A Different Perspective on Adoption. With the bonding/attachments issues that we had with Ryan at the beginning, I can completely see why he reacts the way that he does to certain things.

Let me know what you think about it.

~Jen

Playdates

Mommy set up a playdate for us with a local moms group at local park on Saturday August 23rd. We met one of Mommy's friends along with her four year old boy there and saw Mommy chat with another Mommy with her little boy there as well.

This park was just redone and we had fun playing in the sandbox, checking out the creek, eating snack in the gazebo, going down the slides, swinging on the swings, and going across the bridges and so much more.

We hope to see them again at the next playdate we attend in September.

~Ryan, Katie, and Bella

Pictures from Katie's Birthday and Party

All in their Hanboks...trying to get all three dressed in them and then out the door is always fun for these pictures!!






Big sister looking at her little sister and vice versa.




Warm day out but Ryan wanted to look nice for the pictures going to Korea to his foster mommy!!!





Getting all three kids looking at the camera is always fun!!!





Katie in her special Birthday princess shirt that we gave her.





Katie eating her slice of ice cream cake...hmmm it was good!!!!





Ryan sitting with his Uncle Kevin (my only sibling who's younger).





Ryan playing outside with his Korean mentor and Bella's mentor.




Katie dressed up with tulle ribbon in her hair done by her mentor.


Hard to believe that one of my little baby girls is three years old...where has the time gone??? It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating her 1st birthday with family and friends at our local park.

~Jen

Praise for my oldest girl!!!!!

We have a deal with the kids. If they go 7 nights without wetting, they get a trip to the toy store to pick out a present for being so good.

Katie tried before but was unsuccessful. I told her that 3 year olds don't wear pull-ups at night and that worked. The night of her birthday party she insisted on wearing her underwear. She has gone every night since without wetting her underwear and today we went out to the toy store to pick out a toy for her. Nothing tremendously expensive..the toys were her choice.

Her choice was a princess dress up set complete with tiara, necklace, clip-on earrings, bracelet, dress shoes, tutu, princess wand and some other stuff. She also picked up some diapers for her dolls...after all a little princess mommy needs to change the diapers on her babies too right??? We also got her some more princess underwear since that seems to have done the trick...hey whatever works, right???

Ryan, while discouraged, is excited for her as well since he gets to go to the toy store and he is picking out some possibilities for his gift as well. So far on the list we have some cars from the movie Cars and Thomas items.

So we have been cheering for Katie today on her accomplishment and we are cheering for Ryan as well that he will go all night without wetting soon.

~Jen

Ryan's Adoption Talk

Here's the conversation that I had with Ryan today at the breakfast nook table at lunch time. Conversations more in-depth than this one seem to only be done at the breakfast nook table over mealtime...

Ryan: I'm going to adopt a baby.
Me: okay Ryan that's wonderful to hear. Where are you thinking of adopting the baby from?
Ryan: Korea (like there is any place else to adopt a baby, Mom!!)
Me: Oh that'll be really special sweetie...when are you adopting the baby?
Ryan: Not now, Mom, I need to go play first.

~Jen

It's Official...Bella is ours and we are hers

Mommy and Daddy woke us up at 7 am this morning to eat breakfast and get dressed to go to court. Mommy mentioned to us repeatedly that we would be seeing the judge dressed up in his robes and that we had to be extra good in court today.

Daddy had to wake up Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug, and Tommy since they stayed over from Katie's birthday party yesterday to go to court today. Mommy, Daddy, and us kids were the only ones to eat breakfast this morning. Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug and Tommy didn't have breakfast this morning until after court. Our appointment was at 8:45 at court...we arrived before that to meet with the lawyer.

When we arrived in court we walked through a gate that beeped that had a guard at it. Mommy, Daddy and everyone else carrying a bag, phone, or had keys needed to put them through a tunnel and then collect them when they came out. I put my toy camera up on it to send it through. The guard looked at our water cups that came through in our cooler bag as well.

We waited for a little while in the waiting area before our lawyer came in. He went upstairs to check on things then called us upstairs to wait up there. While we were up there waiting, Daddy and Mommy were talking to another adoptive parent who adopted through the same agency they used 20+ years ago and also adopted an 8 year old girl from the Phillipines about 15 years ago. Small world huh??

We were then directed down the hall and into the courtroom...it was the same judge who did my finalization and Katie's finalization and the same courtroom. We all walked in there and Katie and I could sit in the front. The judge shook Daddy and Mommy's hand and went to shake mine but I didn't want him to. The judge talked to Mommy and Daddy and so did our lawyer as well (just like Mommy said would happen). Mommy and Daddy had to sign their names to one piece of paper. After a little while, the judge shook their hands and said "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Cox".

After that we had pictures taken with the judge...lots and lots of pictures. Then it was over. We all left the courthouse building and came home for more pictures of us at home by Bella's homecoming flag. So Papa took some pictures at Mommy's request.

We went out to eat at a local restaurant. I ate all of my chicken fingers and my fries as well. Everyone commented on how good their food was. From there Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug and Tommy went home to Massachusetts. Uncle Kevin went home to Pennsylvania. And we went to our home as well.

If you're lucky, maybe Mommy will put up one or two.

Today we are officially a family...

~Ryan

Katie's 3rd Birthday Party!!!

We had family and the kids' mentors over for Katie's 3rd Birthday party. She got really shy once everyone arrived. When it came time to her opening up her gifts, she couldn't wait. She enjoyed having Kathleen and Jen over and is warming up to Tae as well.

She loved eating the chicken bulgogi I made and cheese and crackers and the seasoned mung bean sprouts.

The ice cream cake we got was a hit with her as well. It was made by a local ice cream shop. It was delicious and we are definitely getting another one if we have another ice cream cake for somebody's birthday.

We are exhausted, I ran two dishwasher loads of dirty dishes but we enjoyed everyone's company here in celebrating Katie's 3rd birthday with her and with us.

~Jen

The Day is Almost Here...

Bella's adoption finalization is tomorrow morning. It shouldn't be more than 5-10 minutes...I think the picture-taking with the judge for both Ryan and Katie's finalization was longer than the actual ceremony itself. We have the same lawyer for Bella's adoption that we had Ryan's and Katie's. It's a bit funny that we had the lawyer picked out since 2002 before we had an adoption agency picked out.

We are having alot of family present this time around unlike the past two finalizations. My parents, my brother, Jeff's parents, his brother and our nephew are going to be present. I'm just hoping to get everyone here in my home up and out of the home by 8 am. Jeff and I are waking up at 6:30.

And I'm not used to finalizations during the summer months, Ryan and Katie's finalizations were in December.

As of tomorrow, it'll be official. Bella is ours and we, Jeff, Jen, Ryan and Katie, are her family.

~Jen

Katie's 3rd Birthday

Today is Our Princess Katie's Day!!!

She is turning three today. We have been told of this milestone from her for awhile now (since her last birthday I think). We are doing pictures in the Hanboks as a tradition that I started with them...special day requires a special outfit.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate for my girl so that pictures can be done outside with her siblings. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Pictures that I will post later since we have a birthday party with family and a few friends as well tomorrow.

Questions that I asked Katie and her responses:

Me: Katie, what is your favorite color?
Katie: Purple and pink

Me: What is your favorite holiday?
Katie: Daddy's Day

Me: What is your favorite snack?
Katie: hmmm let me think...cookies (her face smiling)

Me: What is your favorite place to shop?
Katie: a store

Me: What is your favorite animal?
Katie: lion...do lions bite?
Me: yes Katie, lions bite

Me: What is your favorite meal that Mommy makes?
Katie: cereal

Me: What is your favorite place to go eat out?
Katie: Jitters

Me: What is your favorite flavor for ice cream?
Katie: ice cream (Do you like her thinking??)

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Katie: a mommy

Me: If you could go anywhere, where would it be?
Katie: to the zoo

Me: What is your favorite toy?
Katie: the zebra (it's a ride on toy that bounces up and down) she rides it every day

Me: What is your favorite game?
Katie: computer games

Me: What is your favorite candy?
Katie: chocolate candy I love her logic again.

We now have a 4 year old, a 3 year old and an 18 month old in our home. YIKES!!! Where has the time gone??

As with each of the other kids' birthdays, I hope and pray that her First Mom is safe and has somebody she can talk to. I think of her daily as I gaze upon my children's faces. I pray that she knows that we kept her children together.

~Jen

Cousin Chris

Well we're having a rough morning this Friday morning. Jeff's cousin Chris came into town and spent the night with us last night. The kids stayed up past their bedtime to see him and then play for a little while. This morning Ryan and Katie but mostly Ryan were upset that he had to go. Apparently Chris made a big impression on him. Ryan was particularly sad to see Chris go but understands that he had to go to work just like his Daddy does.

We'll have to figure out when we are able to get together with Ryan's big cousin Chris and his wife so that Ryan can have fun again with him. We enjoyed the corn muffins that his wife, Nancy, made and we'll be enjoying the tomatoes from their garden as well.

We miss you, Chris!!

~Jen

Monday, August 11th, 2008...or the end of Daddy's 3 week "vacation"

Hi,

Today the kids are having difficulty in adjusting to life with just Mommy at home again and no Nana, no Papa, no Uncle Kevin, and particularly no Daddy. While Jeff and I were in Atlanta for a week (trust me NOT a vacation by any stretch of the imagination), the kids were with my parents who stayed in our home (did I say "Thank You Mom and Dad" enough yet??). Then the two oldest went to spend a week with my brother in Pennsylvania (Thank you Kevin as well). After that my parents took the two oldest while we had Bella here at home. The two oldest came home Wednesday evening of last week.

Daddy and the three kids had fun at the park, going shopping at the grocery stores, playing outside on our slide, multiple ride on toys and in the sandbox, and more. They were sad to see Daddy go to work this morning and asked about their other play buddies (Nana and Papa in particular). Nana is at work today and Papa (well Papa managed to get himself sick so he can't come and play with them until he is feeling better...get better soon Papa we need you here to play).

The kids miss their Daddy, particularly Ryan. He didn't want Daddy to go back to work. Ryan doesn't want Daddy to work each week Monday through Friday.

Hopefully as we get back into our regular routine, things will get better. Until then, we will have the meltdowns, we will have the attitude, we will have the youngest one not napping, we will have the behaviorial issues that some will see as my children acting up but I will look this as a whole and wonder perhaps it is just the kids way of saying we disapprove of the loss of Daddy in the home. Even if that loss is just for 9-10 hours Monday through Friday.

~Jen

Remain in One Spot so that I Can Find You...

Ryan needed to go upstairs to his room for something. He told his Daddy to stay exactly where he was (which was in the kitchen/breakfast nook area of our home). Jeff told him that he would remain exactly in that spot. Ryan went upstairs, grabbed what he needed to from his room, and climbed back downstairs. Jeff was still in the same spot where Ryan left him...ready to give him a hug to ease his worries and any of his fears.

When one of his sisters are at my parents' house for the night or weekend, he is concerned about their well-being as well. He needs to know where they are at and what they are doing.

It wasn't surprising for us. We know the thing he fears the most right now is more loss that he can't control. He loves us and we love him very much along with his tender caring heart.

And the message from our son was this Can you just remain in one spot so that I can find you...please??? And by the way, don't leave...

We are always here for you buddy be it during a thunderstorm, be it when you come home from Nana and Papa's house, or be it just a trip up and down the stairs and we'll be here in the future as well...

~Jen

The Date We've Been Waiting for...

Our lawyer called at 1:15 today. We have a court date for Bella's finalization!!! We are heading to court on the morning of the 18th. While we are sad that she could not stay with her First Mom (as we feel it is truly best that the child(ren) stay with their First Family), we are happy that we are finalizing her adoption at last.

~Jen

Please view my alter ego blog...NY Endo Angel

Hi,

On a more serious note, please visit my alter ego blog post at Help Out a Great Endometriosis Organization...Yankee Candle Fundraiser. Please forwarded the information on about the Yankee Candle Fundraiser to everyone you know.

I suffered from this disease since I was a teenager and here's My History with Endometriosis.

Please help out the 7 million girls and women in the US and the 70 million around the world with this disease. It would mean so much to me.

~Jen

While Mommy and Daddy are Away...

...we will play with Nana and Papa















~From Ryan, Katie, and Bella

Pictures of Day out With Thomas 2008

Daddy finally took the pictures off of Mommy's camera from our Day out with Thomas this year.

We hope that you enjoy them!!!



















~from Ryan, Katie, and Bella

Two preschoolers...one hour...one room

I'm not even going to bother telling you about their "fun" on July 7th outside of the fact that this is my room (along with Katie's) and my brother and sister were "playing" in there.




This is what Mommy saw when she first opened the door.



Not a pretty scene is it???




I wasn't please either since all of the clothes in my dresser were emptied out onto the floor.

~Bella

Music Request this afternoon...

The music came at the request of my oldest daughter, Katie. She really wanted it on. I ask her if she wanted this or other music like Sesame Street and she said with her emphasis added No I want to see the video that we got at Christmas. The kids got a children's video with dancing and singing on it from us.

The kids were dancing today to children's music DVD. They were having a grand ole time. At times all three of them were dancing to the music in their own way. Katie was trying to imitate the people and children dancing. At times, Ryan was either dancing or drumming to the music on the drum. Bella was busy trying to jump up, marching, and dancing around the room. By the time I got my camera, all they did was stop and smile or make funny faces at the camera. So I put the camera away out of reach of the little ones. They were giggling through the songs and singing along to the music.

During the DVD, they stopped dancing one by one and sat down next to each other. Ryan was in the middle while his sisters were on either side of him. They were all snuggling up underneath a blanket for my bedroom that I hadn't folded up yet. Ryan had made sure his sisters were tucked in.

They were singing once more to the music. Then the big conversations came up about music, who was going to play what musical instrument all located in their Bee Bop Band drum (Katie was playing two shakers, Ryan was busy conducting who was playing what instrument at what time, and Bella was busy shaking her head no to the instruments Ryan was giving to her to play) and more.

One of the songs was Happy Birthday, another was Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, another one was 10 Little Indians (okay not PC but it was on the DVD), and more.

Did I mention that Katie's requested video that we watched, the children music video, is a Korean children's video??

Music is universal. I listen to all sorts of music that I don't know most if not all of the words to. I listen to some German (I grew up in a church that was started by Germans so we sing alot of German Christmas hymns), a little more Spanish, Georgian Chant, Celtic, and Korean. And that's in addition to the English speaking groups/solo artists and genres that I listen to. I listen to 50s Rock and Roll music right up to today's stuff. I also listen to classical music and I love Mozart's music in particular. I feel wonderful when I'm listening to each of the different types of music since each puts me into good mood (whether it causes me to sing or hum along to it, dance to it, or just relax to it).

This children's music video was put on this afternoon because my daughter highly requested it. Maybe she needed to see and hear some kids' singing and was sick of Wiggles or Sesame Street songs. Maybe this type of music makes her feel all happy inside and that shows on the outside of her by her beaming face. Maybe she wanted to watch it and try singing to it since it's Korean. The title of this children's video is 동요나라 or Dance and Sing with Jumi and Dienna.

Seeing the kids dance and sing, play and have a discussion about the instruments and about the music was wonderful enough to me and I enjoyed listening to it and dancing to it with the kids too.

~Jen

Please view this video

I saw this on Margie's blog and finally had the chance to watch it. It made me think as well.



Let me know what you think.

~Jen

More preschooler questions for you to answer...

How does a river get made?
Why is the sky blue?
Why is that airplane chasing the other one? Mind you we told Ryan that the first airplane (the Cessna) was bringing the other airplane (the glider) up very high in the sky so that it can glide back down to the airport.
Did you know that milk comes from cows?
Why do birds fly?
Is it going to thunder again?
Is THAT a coccoon??
How do fish get made?

So I'm curious, how would you answer my two oldest children's questions?? Particular answer the one about how fish get made to satisfy a 4 year old little boy's and a near 3 year old little girl's curiosity.

~Jen

Memories of Camp Mu Ji Gae 2008

Jeff, Bella and myself along with my parents who brought Ryan and Katie attended our Korean cultural camp's family day on Sunday afternoon. We saw friends of ours there at camp. Some of them are local and one from far away that we met last year while we were in Boston at the KAAN Conference. Some of them were familiar faces we have seen since our first camp experience in 2004 when Jeff and I went to check it out.

We met up with Katie's mentor, Kathleen, her mother and my friend Maggie, Mike and his daughter Gillian.

It was so good to meet you again Chris, author of A Euro-American on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China, at Camp Mu Ji Gae. I'm glad that you finally got to meet my kids in person. As you can tell, they keep me on my toes!!

We watched the Korean drummers and the women from SIWA at Sookmyung Women's University (also in Korean at Info about SIWA in Korean and Info about SIWA in English) do their mask dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~SIDE NOTE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These women paid their own way to the US to help out our camp. And we are appreciative of them doing so!!!


~~~~~~~~~END OF SIDE NOTE~~~~~~~~~~~

The drummers then had asked if any of the campers wanted to join them dancing around they could. So Ryan and I went up and danced along with some of the other campers. We also went in under the arms of the drummers, parents, grandparents and other campers similar to what we do with the Mu Ji Gae train. Then after dancing with Ryan, I took Bella up as well and danced with her. She enjoyed it as well. Katie was watching us from the rest of the crowd. She opted not to join in the dancing and Mu Ji Gae train and we respected her wishes.

Ryan mentioned afterwards that he was upset with us. When I asked him why he told me that he "wanted to bring our Korean drums next year". So next year, if he is still interested, we'll be bringing those drums with us to camp. But that will be his choice.

Monday night, my mom and I attended our camp's guest speaker (Chris Winston) and her discussion about how we build a relationship to the Korean community, why is it important, all about race (does it matter, our perspective on diversity versus our children's perspective, etc), and more. I'm so glad that I attended this event even though I heard some of this at the KAAN conference last year. I still learned some information from this event.

Adoption is a lifelong learning experience...you can't possibly know everything that there is to know to help your child at each stage of their development (infancy, toddler, elementary school, pre-teen, teenager, and adult adoptees) when you bring your child home. Hence my reason why I'm attending these events when I can. Jeff mentioned on Sunday that it would be like going to a KAAN session and in a way it was.

In attendence were Korean adult adoptees to talk about their experiences and without them sharing their personal experiences it wouldn't be the same. I am forever thankful to them for their willingness to talk to us, the adoptive parents, especially face to face to tell us what their experiences were when they were growing up and are now as an adult. Other people in attendence were adoptive parents like myself with young kids, adoptive parents with teenagers, and adoptive parents with adult adoptees. Also in attendence were representatives from a Korean language school in this area. I chatted with them after the talk and gained some valuable information just in case my kids are interested in learning when they turn 5 years old. I learned that they also have a parents' class as well.

Tuesday afternoon we went back for the kids' sessions. My parents came to help us out and to videotape and take pictures. Katie graduated into the older kids class (Curiosity for ages 3 to 5 year olds) so she joined her big brother for the class. Jeff took them into their class while I helped out a friend of ours, Angie, and watched Bella in the younger kids class for under 3 year olds called Rising Stars.

We started off with group pictures and went into the gym for music time, free play, story time, more free play and then snack time.

I sang London Bridges in Korean and taught the parents as well as the kids. In their goody bags they got some arts and crafts stuff to do made by Angie and Jennifer, flashcards that I made up for the campers and particularly their parents to learn some basic words/phrases and included a link to a website that has all of the words/phrases and their correct pronunciation for the parents to listen to, a Korean flag sticker, and more. After that we had freeplay and then gathered back together to do one of the 3 crafts in their goody bag. After that we listened to the book Bibimbop read by Jennifer and 2 other books. After some freeplay, the group had mandu, orange wedges, and popsicles for snack. Bella and I shared our Korean rice cookies that we picked up at the local Korean market with the other campers. I was complimented on the flashcards by several of the mothers and a few of the fathers as well and that they would definitely be using these to learn a bit of Korean themselves.

We had 2 big folding tables set up for resources for the parents to take and one big folding table for books for them to look at. It contained a packet of 5 pages of websites for parents to check out, catalogs from various adoption related businesses, a map of Korea for them to look at, and more. We had Korean children's music playing for all to hear.

In Curiosity, they had paper folding, a song and dance with the girls from Sookmyung Women's University SIWA group, snack and more.

After that camp was done for us for this year. The kids are already talking about next year's camp. We are looking forward to family day events and the kids individual classes for as long as they want to participate in it. I need to make a mental note to ask the kids if they want to bring Korean drums with them to next year's family day since Ryan wanted to play his drum along with the Korean drummers on Sunday.

Katie said the sweetest thing last night to me as I was tucking her into bed that I'll close this post with:

Thank you Mommy for bringing me to camp.

My response to her is the following: Thank you Katie for bringing me to camp.

Katie's simple sweet sentence is why we will expose my children to things Korean for as long as they show interest. Her simple sweet sentence is why we will bring our kids to their Korean cultural camp for as long as they show interest.

~Jen

Our Adventures for the week

Katie conversation with Monday night's dinner was funny. Here's how it went:

Katie: What are you putting on your taco, Daddy?
Daddy: (as he is holding a bottle of habanero sauce) Spicy sauce. Why you want some sweetie?
Katie: Yes
Daddy: Are you sure it's really spicy?
Katie: (said very strong and with punctuation at each word)Yes I am
Daddy: I put a little bit here on your plate so that you can try it.
Me: Here's some more milk sweetie just in case the sauce is too spicy for you, okay?
Katie: Okay
Katie: (tries the sauce without the taco) this is good Daddy...Can I have some more to dip my taco in like you?
Daddy: (looking stunned at me and then back at Katie) You want more?
Katie: Yes
Daddy: (gives her a little more) Okay
Katie: I LIKE the spicy sauce Daddy!!
Ryan: I don't want any spicy stuff
Me: Okay Ryan, you don't have to have any

We heard more thunder this week and Ryan wasn't too happy about it. Neither was our dog for that matter who hid behind our couch. Ryan and Katie made their own lunches on Wednesday (crackers with hummus). Katie licked more stuff off her spoon than put onto her cracker.

The girls and I did each others hair with the girls barrettes on Tuesday and again on Wednesday. It was too funny to see how many barrettes Katie would put into my hair and into her younger sister's hair. I wish that somebody was videotaping us!!! Oh what a sight we were. Poor Ryan didn't understand what the fuss was all about for us girls. He just wanted to play with his trucks that Papa had lent him who knows how long ago.

Wednesday night's dinner was Bibimbop since we had finished up having tacos. Well it's a version of Bibimbop anyway that I can get the kids to eat. The tacos as always are a hit but a mess as well. I had to sneak in some veggies on to the soft tortilla before giving it to the kids. So what veggie did I add?? Grated carrot right on top of the meat.

Unfortunately I can't quite sneak in a veggie into the Bibimbop since you see everything in the bowl. So we have some picky eaters right now here in our home. Bella is the opposite she loves eating the bibimbop. The rice goes everywhere...on the tray, on the floor, on the seat of her highchair, all over her bib, in her hair because she runs her hands through it, and some pieces of rice manage to find their way into her mouth and stomach. Somehow she manages to keep the rest of the food in the bowl or on the tray or in her mouth.

We played with the trucks and cars, the girls played with their dolls in their doll podaegi carriers, the two oldest kids helped vacuum the rug (however the vacuum cleaner wasn't turned on when the kids were "helping me"), pretended to drive to friends and family members' homes, pretending that we were ballerinas and cooks, carpenters who build things like homes and more.

We looked at bugs in the backyard and told them not to come inside the home. Why you might ask? Ryan will tell you that they live outside not inside our home...they have their own home.

We looked at books and had Daddy read our favorite book right now...Disney book on Opposites. Bella looks at a book with me every night or builds something with the legos to show me.

The two oldest are inquistive and ask alot of questions. Here are some examples of this past week's questions:

Why does the wind blow?
How do they make a house?
How do they make watermelon?
What bug is this?
Why is puppy barking?
Why don't we get mail? (they get all of our junk mail to look at)
Why can't Daddy stay home all of the time too?
Can Daddy come home now?
Can I go to the stores tonight? (mind you we have nothing to get at the stores so the answer is no with today's gas prices)
Why can't I watch Thomas all the time?

Bella's words have been coming fast. She can now say 'hug' with her little arms raised up and with loving eyes that makes your heart just melt, 'dog', 'puppy', 'home', 'daddy', 'momma', 'omma' which she picked up from Ryan and Katie, 'appa' meaning apple most days, 'mine', 'got', 'sky', 'nana' for banana, 'talk' when she wants to "talk" on the phone, and 'aggie' for Maggie. She tries to say barrette as well when she wants a barrette in her hair. She can sign water and melon if I make the fist. She has been trying to sign I love you as well but only manages to get her index finger out and she and I sign I love you together which makes her just light up a room with the smile of hers.

Bella is walking as fast as she can in the home now. And boy she is ever fast. I have to beat her to the baby gate when the kids leave it open to go potty. Otherwise she is trying to climb up the stairs which she can do all by herself with us following her.

Ryan is working on how high he can count. He's made it up to nearly 50 (with a tiny bit of help) before stopping to eat but this week he only did up to 36 because dinner was on the table and he "had to eat it now"...besides "there is always time to count later on".

Ryan and Katie went to spend 2 nights over at my parents house (thank you mom and dad!!!!!) this past weekend. Bella stayed home with us.

Just a small glimpse into the life here in our busy home!!!

~Jen

Getting the mail is a family outing...and a learning experience

Hi,

Picture this: one home full of 3 kids who love it the mail carrier comes by in the truck to deliver the mail to our rural route home. Add in one sheltie who loves to get the mail as well. Mix in some barking and some "I wanna go get it...I wanna go get it" and what do you have???


One Mommy who walks down the driveway holding her oldest daughter's hand, her son is holding the daughter's other hand. In her free arm she is holding her youngest daughter. The entire crew walks to the end of the driveway, and the Mommy takes it to be a teaching moment. She teaches her children that they need to stop and look both ways before crossing the street. Her son looks both ways as well as her oldest daughter and they respond back "no cars coming Mommy".

They proceed to cross the street to grab the mail. The kids are kept far away from the road on the neighbor's lawn while the Mommy grabs the mail. She quickly grabs her oldest daughter's hand and checks to see if her son has the other hand which he does. They look both ways again before crossing the street back to their home.

Once they get beyond the first set of lilac bushes, the Mommy lets go of her daughter's hand and says to her two oldest "okay you can run back to our home" to which the kids break out into a full tilt run laughing.

Where is the Sheltie you might ask? In the home looking upset since Mommy doesn't have enough hands to walk the dog across the street as well.

After looking at the mail and handing out 3 pieces of it to her kids (who all want a piece to look at for awhile before they toss it aside), she announces that "it's resting time" and all 3 proceed up the stairs to go rest. The Mommy kisses each one of them with an unique kiss. One child requires a kiss on the forehead and both of the cheeks. Another child requires and kiss on the cheeks. The third child requires a kiss on your hand and for you to place your hand (the delivery tool) to her forehead, both of her cheeks, her chin and her mouth.

After giving each their blankies, she tells her oldest two to play quietly and allow their younger sister to nap. "Play quietly" means that the two oldest go into the big brother's room and play with Thomas the train, matchbox cars, legos, and look at books all the while giggling can be heard throughout the home.

After she walks downstairs, she thinks about an earlier conversation she had today with a good friend of hers and then about her own online diary that the world sees.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Here's what I was reminded of today:

(1) Sometimes you need to just let go of things in your life.

(2) You all haven't seen all of me or my children. But at the same time, you didn't ask either.

While my kids do see Korean videos or listen to Korean music, they also watch Wiggles, Thomas the Tank Engine, Sesame Street, Care Bear movies, Cars, Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, and Super Why (not all in one day I might add just for those of you who are concerned about them watching too much TV). They also listen to Kindermusik music, Raffi, Wiggles (yes we have both DVDs and CDs), Thomas (yes we have both of this one as well), Disney children's music and more. My kids decide what they watch or listen to off of that list and within reason (we don't watch a movie right before bedtime for example). I give them a choice and 99% of the time their Korean videos and Korean music aren't on that list. It used to be nearly daily but not so much anymore.

We have tea time where Katie will pass out tea cups to everybody and give you a plate as well with cookies that she made for you. I build train tracks for Ryan to play his Thomas the Trains on. You haven't seen Ryan play with his tool bench when Alpha Pig is banging on his on Super Why. You haven't seen Bella knocked down a tower of blocks only to hear her giggle like she is a mad scientist at work. Nor have you experience playing "base-aball" here in our home.

Definition of Base-aball: You take a ball...doesn't matter what size ball you find. It could be the dog's ball that she can pick up in her own mouth or it can be one that you pick up at the local grocery store for your kids to kick around that has Care Bears or Thomas on it. You sit on the floor and roll the ball to anybody else nearby who could possibly roll (or kick) the ball back to the sender. Eventually everybody on the floor is involved with base-aball including our dog, Maggie.

As you see, I'm not all about crying in front of my children (which by the way I don't do). I'm not forcing my children to watch Korean videos or listen to Korean children's music...that is their choice entirely. They are into other things like Thomas or Cars for Ryan, like Care Bears for Katie, like Hello Kitty for Bella, as well as Elmo and Sesame Street. They like to ride on their trikes and cozy coupes. They like the most recent $10 purchase by their Mommy of their slide for the backyard.

They like watching the two bunnies in our yard and other bugs and birds and learning where they live and what they eat.

I'm so sorry to those of you who thought that I am only about shoving Korea down my children's throats (and yours). I'm so sorry to those of you who thought that my kids weren't involved with other things that they enjoy doing...the typical toddler and preschool things. I'm so sorry to those of you who think that I'm crying all the time--be it in front of my kids or out of their sight...since I am not. I'm so sorry to any adoptee out there reading this blog and thinking that I'm claiming your loss as my own...I am not.

I'm so sorry that I haven't been a good in giving you all an idea of what happens in our happy home.







I'm so sorry that I haven't painted for you the complete picture of our family life and I will change that. And now as my kids are done "resting" upstairs, I will get off of my soapbox and go back to my playing with them.

Bye for awhile.

Are God's Angels Done Yet??

God's Angels have been moving around furniture on and off today. Or maybe they have been bowling up there. We can't really tell which it is. The angels have been crying happy tears to help things grow down here in our neck of the woods. We have beautiful strawberry plants coming up, scallions that are going to seed, Roses of Sharon bushes that are doing quite nicely and more.

~Ryan, Katie and Bella

Preparing for Camp Mu Ji Gae 2008

I have been in the midst of preparing for the Rising Stars (age 0-3 years old) group of Camp Mu Ji Gae. I'm helping out two other mothers with this group, the planning, the prep work, and my donation to camp of the items I'm working on. I need to come up with a list of stuff that I'll need to bring to camp that evening (the kids' Hanboks).

Ryan and Katie liked looking at the flashcards that I created for Rising Stars. Ryan asked if he could have a set which of course my kids are getting a set each.

I have to admit that they are pretty cool looking. They have a picture and the English word for that picture on one side and the Hangul and the romanization of the Hangul on the other.

I did up flashcards for the parents to learn London Bridges in Korean as well which I will be teaching them during the class. Sorry folks no picture with the London Bridges flashcards.

The two oldest are excited to attend camp again this year and are very excited that they are in the same class (Curiosity for ages 3-5 year olds). Jeff will have his hands full but he might have some from my dad.

I'm excited to be giving back to the camp in a more volunteer capacity which is amazing since I have kids ages 4 and under. Jeff thought that I was nuts just nuts since I'm busy with the kids. But for me helping a friend of mine out who was running the Rising Stars group this year was far more important. I didn't think that I would be singing in front of a group of parents and grandparents though...but it's not a problem for me since I'm not talking on the steps near the Lincoln Memorial like I did in April 2001 on the Endometriosis Walk for Awareness in Washington DC.

Did I tell you before?? Since Ryan likes to help others in need, for Ryan's birthday instead of toys we asked for donations to be sent off to Mu Ji Gae. So Mu Ji Gae got some monetary donations from Ryan's birthday guests.

Off to prepare more flashcards and read my ESWS newsletter that I just got in the mail yesterday,

~Jen

Our trip to the library...

We went to the library since I had to do some research on a doctor using the ABMS directory. Thank goodness our local library has the most recent edition. While I was in Reference with Bella in the stroller looking up doctors, Ryan and Katie were in the children's section with Jeff.

Bella first reaction in this quiet area is "dada DADA DADA". Meanwhile the librarian there is smiling and giving me the signal not to worry. Other library patrons were not so amused so I told Bella to shh. She repeated me and quiets down for a moment while I go back to work. Then she starts in again with the same emphasis as before. I tell her to shh again and again she repeats me. She quiets down after I give her a small piece of paper I had to hold on to. I make the copies that I needed to and leave the reference area and we head to see what Daddy is doing with Ryan and Katie.

Ryan immediately greets me and says that he's making dinner for Daddy and us. Jeff tells me the first thing that Katie finds is the Good Night Moon book and wants to bring it home even though we have 2 copies of it at home. She still has it in her hands. I spy the area for Children's Folktales and see what they have. I found a Korean folktale book without too many words to it but the pictures look a little scary for my kids...maybe when they are a little older.

Before we leave, I get library cards for myself, Ryan and Katie. Bella can't get one yet because Bella isn't legally our child. Once she gets finalize, we are getting her own library card as well.

Katie wants to head back to the library as soon as possible. Ryan is in agreement. Bella looks at all of the books at her fingertips and says "book BOOK BOOK".

My response to her is that "yes Bella the library has books". Maybe I've got a future librarian here in our home along with a chef and an author/teacher???

~Jen

On Father's Day...

The kids woke up this morning and picked out their own presents to give Daddy for "Daddy's Day" (their term for Father's Day). Ryan picked out several of his books to give to Jeff along with a old non-working flip up calculator that the kids call a cell phone. Katie had her Care Bear storybook to give to Daddy. Bella just had a big hug to give him.

Ryan and Katie had to go with Jeff to the auto parts store to fix my car. They wanted to spend time with Daddy. Bella and I watched Signing Time to teach her a few more signs. When they got back home from the store, we all played outside for awhile drawing with sidewalk chalk on the driveway, riding on the ride on toys and more.

The kids are resting now since it's nap time. My thoughts are wandering to my grandfathers that I have lost many years ago and my kids' First Dad and other losses as well. Tears swell up in my eyes when I think about it. Pain and tears that are there just below the surface. I can only imagine what the First Dad looked like. Do my children look more like the First Dad than the First Mom or vice versa? What his favorite things in life are? What his dislikes are? So many questions that as a parent, I don't have the answers to.

Tears flow over their losses as well as my own. And compared with all of their losses, mine pales in comparison...just pales. I haven't lost what they or other adoptees have. I can only imagine what those losses might feel like...which sometimes makes me weep more.

I think sometimes that there aren't too many adoptive families who think the way that I do, that think about their child's First family, foster family, loss of country in the case of international adoption, loss of language, the loss of the sights, smells, sounds, and touch of their First Family and foster family. I base this on my interaction with them be it in person or online. Let me just say that I didn't say ALL here just that there aren't too many who think this way. I hope that my posts about my thoughts about my children's First Family cause you to stop and think.

Tears still flowing here on this Father's Day...

For Julia...

Hi,

It was so difficult for me on Sunday to put on my happy face and go with my family to see Thomas the Tank Engine. My mind was on several things including Julia, John and everyone else touched by her. Since then, my thoughts are with all of you who are grieving her loss. Besides the
online candles for Julia what else could I do. She had a way with her words that I couldn't think I can accomplish. Most days that I'm am writing and not writing on behalf of my kids, I'm speaking from my heart. Julia seemed to speak from her heart with every posting she did.

Her one from May 9th posting entitled "Simply Not Done" speaks volumes. I couldn't write her back...I couldn't see through my tears each time I opened up that particular one. I still can't. Nothing came to my mind when I did try...I hate the way this last chapter ended, Julia and John. Just hate it.

I wished that I could have been eloquent and said something. I don't know if my posts are so eloquent as Margie's Post on Julia and all of the other posts about her that Margie wrote. Judy wrote about the grief as well. It made me think about my losses of loved ones and the losses that my kids, their First Mom, and their Foster Families experienced and still experience. It's well written and you should read it. And reading John's post and this one from John as well is just heart breaking. Be prepared with the tissues for all of them.

If you haven't read Julia's blog read it from the earliest days to now...you'll learn alot from this woman. I know that reading her blog affected me just like going to Korea did in November.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that I've posted about this before but I have to post it again...my labor of love for you, Julia, and all who loved her so much:


If you are not a bone marrow donor please consider doing this.

Read up how the bone marrow donation and Myths and Facts about Bone Marrow Donation is done.

Also head to National Marrow Donor Program Medical Guidelines for the requirements.

Also Race and Ethnicity matter when it comes to donating.

Head to Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches, Asian American Donor Program, Asian and Pacific Islanders Can Save Lives brochure in Korean, and Korean Focus Info on Bone Marrow Donation to learn how you can help.

I learned that 3% of Asian Americans are registered

I learned more that there is a 35-45% of match if your ethnic minority but nearly 85% if you're Caucasian and that is due to more Caucasians being on the donor registry than the ethnic minorities.

I also learned that of the 6.5 million registered bone marrow donors only 50,000 are Korean.


Can you help these people? They need a bone marrow transplant:

Omar

Project Michelle

Theo, a KAD

Pastor Paul Kwon's Story

And that is just the Asians that I know about...how many others are there??


Do you remember reading about these people?

Brian Bauman's Story

Korean Actress Choi Kang-hee's Donation Story.

and that is just a small sampling of what I found.



Julia and John, I did this for you and all of the other Korean adoptees out there. John, it may not be much but it's my gift. I hope that this post inspires others to register to be a bone marrow done and accept when they are called as a match. Please feel free to pass this along to others. And please please please donate since you never know whose life you might be saving. If you aren't in the minority, please consider honoring your children by getting the word out about bone marrow registration, giving money to pay for the testing, volunteering at a bone marrow drive, and more.

~Jen

A Day Out with Thomas 2008

Hi,

Mommy and Daddy surprised us yet again with a Day Out With Thomas yesterday afternoon. We arrived at 12:30 pm and ate lunch first. Now the weatherman said that it was only going to rain after 4 pm. BUT they were wrong...

It was drizzling when we arrived and through lunch. We met up with friends of ours and had the 2 pm train ride. With the coaches, you could choose where to sit or stand. If you wanted to sit you sat in the enclosed coaches. If you wanted to stand you stood in the open air coaches.

We took a 25 minute train ride which was wonderful. It was Bella's first train ride and she didn't complain except that she was up in the chunei (the baby carrier I have). We loved the ride. Katie looked like she was an old pro riding the rails. She stood up and mostly refused to hold onto anything. Daddy and Mommy commented that she must have been an regular rider on the Seoul subway!!

After that we did the hay bale maze, pictures with Sir Topham Hatt (well except for Ryan), played in the Imagination Station with the various items in there, had pictures taken with Thomas. Mommy will post pictures on here when she gets a chance.

When Mommy asked us in the car ride on the way back home what we liked most about the day, I responded that I liked riding on Thomas the best. With Katie she said that she liked giving Angie (the friend of ours who came to the Day Out With Thomas with the rest of her family) hugs.

~Ryan and Katie

The Game of Go Fish

Well we had Katie and Ryan playing Go Fish before dinner last night. It was pretty funny to watch.

The kids don't know enough to keep their hand away from prying eyes and when they had to draw a card, they would announce what card they got. It didn't matter to them if they got a card that they had in their hand or a brand new one. Katie and Ryan would announce with glee that they got Thomas or they got Percy (can you tell that we were playing with a Thomas the Tank Engine deck of cards here???). They were playing for the fun of the game. As for me, I was just trying to teach them the game and the idea (yet again) that they need to take turns and not to cheat.

I filled in for Jeff who was cooking dinner. I got beat by Ryan who won the game. Katie and I came in second. I would like a rematch please when they are a little older.

Bella wanted to play but it was decided that she is too young yet to join the rest of us with this type of game.

~Jen