Mommy got the phone call from our adoption agency's social worker. She called late in the afternoon yesterday to say that Tae Hee was ready to come home. Daddy was home from work early and was doing yardwork outside at the time of the phone call. Mommy saw him in the backyard and started waving frantically to him outside. Mommy had already put on Thomas & Friends for me to watch while Katie was upstairs still taking her nap. Daddy noticed Mommy frantically waving and came up to the back door.
Mommy told Daddy that we got Tae Hee's travel call. Mommy called up Nana and Papa while Daddy called up Grandma and Grandpa.
We don't know when Mommy and Daddy are traveling yet but hopefully soon. YEAH OUR SISTER IS COMING HOME SOON!!!!!
~Ryan
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Family
We buried my father's Mother, my Grandmother, and my children's Great Grandmother today. The sun was shining today but tears of sorrow and grief were shed by many family members...from my grandmother's sons to her grandchildren to her niece and others. My thoughts were of the loss of my grandma and of her sons trying to pick up the pieces.
At the church when we were giving the Gift of Peace, I gave it to everyone in the pew with me...my husband, my kids, my parents, my brother, my aunt, my cousins and my uncle. My uncle and I hugged for a bit since I was crying quite a bit. He had his daughter on one side and myself on the other.
This is the time to surround yourself with family members, to lean on each other, to tell stories of your life with that loved one, and so much more. I have shed tears since finding out about my Grandmother's passing on Friday morning. I have reunited with my cousins that I felt were "lost" to me...that I fell out of touch with. I'm glad that I have my family to lean upon, to shed tears of joy and tears of sorrow with, to talk about the past and talk about the future as well.
Talk to your family today...write them a letter and drop it in the mail, send them an e-mail, or give them a call.
At the church when we were giving the Gift of Peace, I gave it to everyone in the pew with me...my husband, my kids, my parents, my brother, my aunt, my cousins and my uncle. My uncle and I hugged for a bit since I was crying quite a bit. He had his daughter on one side and myself on the other.
This is the time to surround yourself with family members, to lean on each other, to tell stories of your life with that loved one, and so much more. I have shed tears since finding out about my Grandmother's passing on Friday morning. I have reunited with my cousins that I felt were "lost" to me...that I fell out of touch with. I'm glad that I have my family to lean upon, to shed tears of joy and tears of sorrow with, to talk about the past and talk about the future as well.
Talk to your family today...write them a letter and drop it in the mail, send them an e-mail, or give them a call.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
On the Death of a Loved One
From the title you probably already know that it's the kids' Mommy again posting. My last living grandparent died late Thursday night. It was my paternal grandmother.
I am taking this hard as my maternal grandmother died on this date about 2 decades ago. As weird as that may sound to most of you, I am mourning my maternal grandmother's death just as if it just happened as well as my paternal grandmother's death.
I helped my Dad in a very smallish way, create a collage of pictures of my paternal grandmother's life by sending him a few of ones that we had of her from our wedding a little over 13 years ago. He also included pictures of our soon to be 3 kids. All of these pictures of my paternal grandmother's life is going to be presented in a CD slideshow of sorts at the funeral home during the wake.
My paternal grandmother's obituary is up at the funeral home's website and the great grandchildren (at least for our side) are listed properly.
What hurts the most is that my maternal grandparents and paternal grandfather never got to know that I got married, never got to know that Jeff and I were adopting, never got to know that we have 2 beautiful kids with us with a third on the way. Jeff's paternal grandfather never knew that he graduated from college, never knew that he was getting married, never knew that we were adopting, and never knew that we would have 2 kids with a 3rd on the way. While I believe in Heaven, I believe that we also have Guardian Angels that surround us. My Guardian Angels are my grandparents.
In my grandmother's obituary, memorial contributions are to be made to the Endometriosis Research Center. Endometriosis is a disease that I suffer from so I am grateful that something good might come out of her tragic death.
When my grandmother was younger, she was known as "Dancing Helen". She loved to polka and played Polish music in her house since she was Polish. She loved Ryan since he won her heart when he was dancing while watching a polka band play on her TV. It was a really cute scene seeing him dance while watching the Polka bands play on TV.
While I should be lying in bed with Jeff sleeping away, I can't with tears streaming down my face. I so much want to just snuggle up with one of the kids right now and fall asleep but with my tears and sobs I know that I'll wake them up. So here I sit and blog to my readers. When I get the chance, I'll have to look up what death means to Koreans and learn something new. Or if you know something about this, please share it with me.
With much sadness and sorrow,
~Jen
I am taking this hard as my maternal grandmother died on this date about 2 decades ago. As weird as that may sound to most of you, I am mourning my maternal grandmother's death just as if it just happened as well as my paternal grandmother's death.
I helped my Dad in a very smallish way, create a collage of pictures of my paternal grandmother's life by sending him a few of ones that we had of her from our wedding a little over 13 years ago. He also included pictures of our soon to be 3 kids. All of these pictures of my paternal grandmother's life is going to be presented in a CD slideshow of sorts at the funeral home during the wake.
My paternal grandmother's obituary is up at the funeral home's website and the great grandchildren (at least for our side) are listed properly.
What hurts the most is that my maternal grandparents and paternal grandfather never got to know that I got married, never got to know that Jeff and I were adopting, never got to know that we have 2 beautiful kids with us with a third on the way. Jeff's paternal grandfather never knew that he graduated from college, never knew that he was getting married, never knew that we were adopting, and never knew that we would have 2 kids with a 3rd on the way. While I believe in Heaven, I believe that we also have Guardian Angels that surround us. My Guardian Angels are my grandparents.
In my grandmother's obituary, memorial contributions are to be made to the Endometriosis Research Center. Endometriosis is a disease that I suffer from so I am grateful that something good might come out of her tragic death.
When my grandmother was younger, she was known as "Dancing Helen". She loved to polka and played Polish music in her house since she was Polish. She loved Ryan since he won her heart when he was dancing while watching a polka band play on her TV. It was a really cute scene seeing him dance while watching the Polka bands play on TV.
While I should be lying in bed with Jeff sleeping away, I can't with tears streaming down my face. I so much want to just snuggle up with one of the kids right now and fall asleep but with my tears and sobs I know that I'll wake them up. So here I sit and blog to my readers. When I get the chance, I'll have to look up what death means to Koreans and learn something new. Or if you know something about this, please share it with me.
With much sadness and sorrow,
~Jen
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Does My Children's First Mom (Birth Mom) Remember Their Birthdate?
Hi all,
I'm sorry but I had to blog on this. This struck a nerve Wednesday night with me while watching Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN. Wednesday night's show was on Guatemala adoptions. Okay now you're wondering why I watch it and why I am blogging on it. You're probably saying it's Guatemala afterall...you adopted your children from Korea. But if I'm a good enough blogger, you'll understand why in a moment so bear with me for now.
I was watching AC 360 on CNN Wednesday night since they were doing a segment/investigation on Guatemala adoptions. They have been having difficulty there...whether First Moms are giving up their children voluntarily, whether the agency is counseling the First Moms so that they understand what will happen, whether the First Moms are giving birth just so that they can get paid alot of money (side note: they mentioned in the report on AC 360 that Guatemala adoptions cost $30,000) and more. One particular agency was mentioned in this report, Casa Quivira, located in Guatemala.
Anderson Cooper had asked the question that the alleged mother wasn't sure of the month her daughter was born. Casa Quivira's director, Clifford Phillips answered that it is very common that a birthmother forgets the date and time.
Anderson Cooper had asked the question that the alleged mother wasn't sure of the month her daughter was born. Casa Quivira's director, Clifford Phillips answered that it is very common that a birthmother forgets the date and time.
Yes I've written that in twice for a very important reason...to emphasize what this director said. Yes folks you've read that right...a mother who has given birth forgets the date and time of her baby's birth. I wanted to emphasize the fact that birth moms (my mom, your mom, perhaps even you, and my children's First Mom) don't remember the date or time of their children's birth.
This summer I was able to get out to Boston with my husband for the KAAN Conference. KAAN stands for Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network. It was held in Boston this year so it was just a short drive for us. At this conference, Jeff and I attended one particular memorable seminar entitled "Universal Motherhood, Universal Loss". It was on one particular birthmother (see Claudia's Birthmother blog) loss when she relinquished her child and her experiences since then.
During Claudia's talk, she had us close our eyes during part of it. During this part, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. She described what she goes at night. The cry, the silent screams into a pillow, the fetal position, the shaking, and so much more. It was heartwrenching to hear but it had to be said just the same. To educate others about what birthmothers must go through.
THE BIRTHMOMS NEVER FORGET THE DAY OF THEIR CHILD(REN)'S BIRTH!!!!
I'm sure that if you asked her or any other birthmom who gave up/relinquished/made adoption plans for their child(ren), they would tell you that they remember...
THEY NEVER FORGET!!!.
So while I'm watching this director of the adoption agency in Guatemala say that it's not uncommon for birthmoms to forget the date and time of their child's birth, I'm thinking of Claudia, my children's First Mom, and all of the other birthmoms out there and scream out in anger "That's simply not true...for our children's First Mom she must be grieving tremendously!!!". Mind you that I'm in bed and hitting the bed with my fists. I'm furious with the statement.
These birthmoms (or as we in our household refer to our children's birthmom as First Mom) DO remember...they DO know exactly what date their child was born.
Doesn't your mom remember what day you were born on? Doesn't she celebrate your birthday by calling you up for those of you with living mothers? Please don't try telling this adoptive mother that my children's First Mom doesn't remember giving birth to her beautiful children and what day it was. Please don't try telling this adoptive mother that my children's First Mom is not grieving for her loss either. She may not outwardly show it but in the inside while in front of others and while she is alone she most certainly does remember the date of her children's birth.
~Jen
I'm sorry but I had to blog on this. This struck a nerve Wednesday night with me while watching Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN. Wednesday night's show was on Guatemala adoptions. Okay now you're wondering why I watch it and why I am blogging on it. You're probably saying it's Guatemala afterall...you adopted your children from Korea. But if I'm a good enough blogger, you'll understand why in a moment so bear with me for now.
I was watching AC 360 on CNN Wednesday night since they were doing a segment/investigation on Guatemala adoptions. They have been having difficulty there...whether First Moms are giving up their children voluntarily, whether the agency is counseling the First Moms so that they understand what will happen, whether the First Moms are giving birth just so that they can get paid alot of money (side note: they mentioned in the report on AC 360 that Guatemala adoptions cost $30,000) and more. One particular agency was mentioned in this report, Casa Quivira, located in Guatemala.
Anderson Cooper had asked the question that the alleged mother wasn't sure of the month her daughter was born. Casa Quivira's director, Clifford Phillips answered that it is very common that a birthmother forgets the date and time.
Anderson Cooper had asked the question that the alleged mother wasn't sure of the month her daughter was born. Casa Quivira's director, Clifford Phillips answered that it is very common that a birthmother forgets the date and time.
Yes I've written that in twice for a very important reason...to emphasize what this director said. Yes folks you've read that right...a mother who has given birth forgets the date and time of her baby's birth. I wanted to emphasize the fact that birth moms (my mom, your mom, perhaps even you, and my children's First Mom) don't remember the date or time of their children's birth.
But please don't take my word for what was said. Read it for yourself at Anderson Cooper 360 Transcript
When I saw this video on Anderson Cooper with Clifford Phillips, I started shouting out...that's just BS...there is no way that a woman who has given birth forgets when she gave birth!!! My mom certainly hasn't and I'm in my mid 30s. For those of you who have living mothers, go ahead and ask them if they remember your birth date or time. Go ahead and ask them questions about their labor and delivery if you really want to see how much they remember of your birth. I seriously doubt that these birth mothers forget!!!
This summer I was able to get out to Boston with my husband for the KAAN Conference. KAAN stands for Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network. It was held in Boston this year so it was just a short drive for us. At this conference, Jeff and I attended one particular memorable seminar entitled "Universal Motherhood, Universal Loss". It was on one particular birthmother (see Claudia's Birthmother blog) loss when she relinquished her child and her experiences since then.
During Claudia's talk, she had us close our eyes during part of it. During this part, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. She described what she goes at night. The cry, the silent screams into a pillow, the fetal position, the shaking, and so much more. It was heartwrenching to hear but it had to be said just the same. To educate others about what birthmothers must go through.
THE BIRTHMOMS NEVER FORGET THE DAY OF THEIR CHILD(REN)'S BIRTH!!!!
I'm sure that if you asked her or any other birthmom who gave up/relinquished/made adoption plans for their child(ren), they would tell you that they remember...
THEY NEVER FORGET!!!.
So while I'm watching this director of the adoption agency in Guatemala say that it's not uncommon for birthmoms to forget the date and time of their child's birth, I'm thinking of Claudia, my children's First Mom, and all of the other birthmoms out there and scream out in anger "That's simply not true...for our children's First Mom she must be grieving tremendously!!!". Mind you that I'm in bed and hitting the bed with my fists. I'm furious with the statement.
These birthmoms (or as we in our household refer to our children's birthmom as First Mom) DO remember...they DO know exactly what date their child was born.
Doesn't your mom remember what day you were born on? Doesn't she celebrate your birthday by calling you up for those of you with living mothers? Please don't try telling this adoptive mother that my children's First Mom doesn't remember giving birth to her beautiful children and what day it was. Please don't try telling this adoptive mother that my children's First Mom is not grieving for her loss either. She may not outwardly show it but in the inside while in front of others and while she is alone she most certainly does remember the date of her children's birth.
~Jen
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