BiBimBop

Mommy made BiBimBop for dinner. She modified it a little so that we had chicken instead of beef (since we don't eat beef). We even ate a little of the green stuff. Mommy ate almost the entire meal with chopsticks. She had difficulty with the rice though. It was pretty funny at times watching her try to pick up the rice. So instead she used a spoon. During dinner, Mommy had Korean music playing in the background.

Tonight before bedtime, we also had Daddy read the story as well. We didn't join in when he read "BiBimBop"...only Mommy did.

~Katie

Things Korean...

Mommy played some Korean lullaby music for us today. It was sung by mothers both young and old to their children. Katie and I tried singing to it. We like listening to music and like listening to Korean music.

Mommy is trying to work on the adoption paperwork to adopt our baby sister. So far the names that I have come up with Mommy doesn't want to use for her. I like Thomas and Toot-Toot but have also come up with Baby. Katie hasn't come up with any names yet. I told Mommy that I love Tae Hee and have been looking at her picture this afternoon after waking up from my nap. Mommy has been working on this on and off all day today. We hope that she finishes with it soon.

Mommy also has been talking with another Mommy to get a Korean language school in our area. My Mommy, in the meantime, has been contacting other adoptive parents in this area to see if there is any interest for this school. So far she has gotten one family of 4 response of yes. I hope that we can get a good group together for school.

~Ryan

A Post from Our Mommy

I had to come on here and tell you all about our experiences this past weekend. Jeff and I went to the 9th annual KAAN conference http://www.kaanconference.com/ (Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network) in Boston Massachusetts this past weekend while the kids were at my parents' house. It was our first conference and we learned quite a bit about various topics of discussion.

Friday night we were on our own for dinner and we ate out with the organizer of KAAN. We got invited (although we felt like we were crashing the dinner a little bit). I met the organizers and we had a wonderful dinner. At the dinner I met the woman whose blog is called Third Mom (see my links for her blog). She said that she doesn't have anything more to blog about but I can't imagine she is done with her blog. Adoption is a lifelong process. I can' t imagine that she has said everything she needs to about adoption.

We attended Jeff Mead's presentation on More than Just Love--a Dad's Perspective on Adoption. We also attended Learning to be Asian and Adopted/Learning to be an Adoptive Family, I'm not Chinese, I'm Korean!, Silent Mothers: the Stories of Korean Birthmothers, Are They Your 'Real' Parents: Talking with Children about Adoption, Words Matter, Top 10 Things Your Adopted Child is Thinking but Will Never Tell You (a panel with Korean adult adoptees), and Creating a Toolbox for Adoptive Parents. There were themes that were in each session: getting a mentor for your child, adopting the culture yourself, keep open line of communication between you and your child, take advantage of opportunities that arise around you in your community, and more. The keynote speeches were excellent and the one held lunchtime on Saturday had silenced the audience.

The highlight of the day was the session on Universal Motherhood, Universal Loss. It was a domestic adoption First Mom who gave her story of what she has gone through before the placement and since. There wasn't a dry eye in the place and once people gained their composure one man spoke up and said "this should be one of the keynote speeches for next year's KAAN". I couldn't even speak. I was so emotional.

Some basic things that I have learned by attending KAAN: please don't label birthmoms/First Moms as being strong. I don't think they feel that way at all. And here's something to else to think about: when you celebrate your child's birthday each year, what does your child's First Mom (birthmom) feeling that particular day? I can't imagine she is happy.

Later in the day, I ran into the presenter and told her that my children's First Mom (their birthmother) is the first thing that I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing that I think of when I go to bed each night. This domestic birthmom and I chatted for awhile in between sessions. It didn't matter that she was a domestic birthmom and my children are Korean. Feelings are feelings no matter where you live, what you look like, and what culture you might come from. I got a glimpse of what my children's First Mom might have experienced and is experiencing. I'm sorry for those of you who were unable to attend to meet and listen to this wonderful birthmom.

Jeff and I picked up a Sogo drum (so now we have two), some Korean fingerpuppets, Korean trinkets, a Korean kids video, books for me (oh and the books that I did pick up the authors were there at KAAN so that I could ask my friend Maggie and get them signed along with the books that I bought at Camp Mujigae).

If you haven't been to KAAN, you need to go. It's enlightening, friendship making, tiring, emotional, and so worth it. It's not just for adoptees but also their parents, pre-adoptive parents, social workers, counselors, adoptive grandparents, and more.

Just so you know next year's KAAN is July 18-20 in Chicago. Mark it on next year's calendar, make a vacation out of it and go. Jeff and I don't regret going to Boston at all.

~Jen

I'm a Big Sister Now...

Ryan got on here before me already said the big news that has been buzzing our family--we're getting a baby sister. She is so cute. We can already say her Korean name.

Here's a picture of her

My little sister at one month old






My little sister at 3 months old


Mommy, Daddy, Ryan and I will be picking out a blankie for her just like Mommy, Daddy, and Ryan did for me before I came.

Well Ryan and I are very tired out after being up so late last night so we're heading to bed for our rest time.

~Katie

We're Adopting Our Sister-from Ryan

Our family has accepted the referral of a little baby girl who lives in Korea right now with her Foster Mommy. Mommy and Daddy received her information yesterday, got it reviewed by the doctor early this morning when the office first opened. Mommy talked it over with us this morning and with Daddy and we have accepted this little girl into our hearts and soon our home.

I told Mommy this morning that I would help out with bringing the diapers, toys, and blankie. Mommy also printed out pictures for me to hold just like I did before Katie came home. She is pretty.

I also told Mommy that I love Daddy, Mommy, Katie, Maggie, and our baby sister. I also mentioned that I love Trevor, Tristan, CJ, Emma and everybody. Mommy was happy to hear that.

Well Katie wants to post as well so bye for now and she'll be posting a picture!

~Ryan

Home Schooling Kids

Mommy, Katie and I have been working on learning our numbers (I know 1-10 and I'm well on my way to learning the rest), counting (I can count comfortably up to 12 and sometimes you might hear me count up to 15 or 16), listen and sing or dance to music including Korean music), playing our musical instruments like piano, our jang-go drum or sogo drum and more, teaching me how to tell time and more.

We have music time where we either listen to and sing Korean children's songs or other music (Kindermusik, classical music, other children's songs or a song where I ask Mommy to dance with me). We have letter time where we learn about letters--what they look like and sound like. We have reading time where Mommy will read us a story and later on in the day with Daddy home we will watch Reading Between the Lions (nobody told us it was geared for 4-8 year olds!!) and at night we get a bedtime story. We do outside play when the weather is nice.

We also do arts and crafts and Katie really loves to color (and break the crayons as well). I can draw a circle and I'm working on a triangle now. Outside today I drew a tree on the driveway with chalk along with tracks for Thomas, Emily, Gordon, and Percy to ride on as well.

Both Mommy and I are teaching Katie about learning her manners (although Mommy and Daddy since need to remind me of mine as well).

Oh and I know Daddy's name as well...I overheard Mommy say it and I've been trying to call Daddy by that name lately. Unfortunately Daddy doesn't quite like that...

Gotta go for now since I should be napping

~Ryan

Getting Together With Our Friends

On Sunday June 10th, Mommy and Daddy drove us to Congress Park for us to have a picnic with our friends and their Mommies and Daddies from Capital Region Heart & Seoul. We got to run around the park and see the ducks and fish swimming in the pond there. We were pleased to see Harrison and his new sister Emma, Jack, Cady and pleased to meet Luke as well.

Katie and I ran around the park and drove Mommy and Daddy crazy since we weren’t running in the same areas part of the time. Katie had fun playing with the football and I had fun just running around. Mommy tried to take pictures of Katie and I but we were running around too much to really let her.

When we got home all I talked about was the park and having a picnic. Mommy and Daddy said we were done at the park but Katie and I weren’t done running around.

We can’t wait to meet all of our friends again soon.

~Ryan

Growing Up

Well I asked Mommy to wear underwear during naptime about a month ago and Mommy agreed to let me. Normally when I have asked this in the past I had her put on a diaper just in case. Sometimes, I had accidents in the underwear/diaper combo. But now there is no “just in case diaper” on me. Mommy gave me strict instructions that if I needed to use the potty to tell her and she’ll help me.

Katie is too little to wear underwear yet but she has been learning to use the potty chair for a few months now. She’s been doing really well using the potty…YEAH KATIE!!!

Mommy came into our rooms recently due to the fact that she heard that there was a recall on the wooden Thomas & Friends railway. Unfortunately we have some of the items on the list so Mommy pulled out all of the recalled items. We’re upset because now we can’t play with our Lights and Sounds James, our Musical Caboose, our regular Caboose, our Fire Hook and Ladder, and our Fire Water Tanker truck.

We hope that replacements will be sent out to us soon. What we don’t understand is why somebody would use something that might hurt us and make us sick?

~Ryan and Katie

Mommy and Daddy are college sweethearts. On Father's Day 1993, they got engaged less than a month after Mommy's graduation from college. Daddy graduated the following year from college and a few months later they were married in the church Mommy had been going to since she was little.

Before they got married they had to attend what is called a Pre-Cana. They had to answer questions about finances, who was working, and how many kids they would have. Mommy wanted a boy and a girl.

After they got married they moved to New Jersey from upstate New York. Daddy worked for a very small company as a computer programmer and Mommy worked for a big publishing company. She went from Assistant Editor to Associate Editor within one division of the company in less than a year. This was something totally unheard of with this particular company.

Daddy's work wasn't doing well and Mommy and Daddy decided to move back to upstate New York where they bought a home in a kid filled neighborhood.

Mommy and Daddy couldn't have children of their own so they turned to adoption to start their family in the fall of 2002. In 2004, they switch from domestic adoption to international adoption. It was on Mother's Day of that year that they started filling out the adoption application, questionnaires, writing up their biographical information and more. That was the same month that I, Ryan, was born in a far away place called Korea.

After Mommy handed in the paperwork in mid August 2004, they had their homestudy interviews. In a month, they had their referral--medical, developmental and pictures of a baby selected just for them. It was my referral.

Mommy and Daddy went out shopping at Toys R Us afterwards to look at a couple of items there deciding what to get. After that they drove to Nana and Papa's house to have them see the pictures of me.

Mommy and Daddy accepted the referral of me on their 10th anniversary after they got it reviewed by a pediatrician they had selected for me. That's when their waiting began.

They had more paperwork to fill out for USCIS and went there to hand in their I-600 form and get fingerprinted. They waited to get a call from the adoption agency about when I was travelling to join them. Every time the phone rang, Mommy would race to the phone to read the Caller ID number. Finally the call came in before 9 am April 12th, 2005 that I was ready for travel and would be arriving in the afternoon of the 14th at JFK Airport. Mommy cried with delight that her little boy was coming home but she was also sad for my Foster Mommy, my Omma, as well.

On April 14, 2005, I travelled with 3 other boys to JFK Airport. I was a little shy and nervous but warmed right up. Mommy fed me at the airport while Daddy, Nana, Papa, Uncle Kevin, Grandma and Grandpa all watch and took pictures and video.

Daddy went through the contents of the diaper bag with the volunteer greeter. Daddy signed some paperwork and I was now physically in the hands of my parents. Daddy showed Mommy the contents of the diaper bag including the photo album and extra pictures my Omma sent with me as well as the Hanbok for my first birthday that she bought. Mommy cried when she saw both of the items. All she was thinking was how much I must be loved by my Omma and how much I would be missed.

I took my first limo ride from the airport back home and cried for about an hour in the car seat (it was also my first ride in that as well). Mommy and Daddy soothed my fears and apprehensions and after awhile I noticed music playing in the background and loved hearing various types of music but soft jazz seemed to soothe me the best.

I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning and finally went to bed with Mommy and Daddy at around 2 am. Poor Mommy slept very little the night before and then I kept her up playing. I was on Korea time and only napped.

When I woke up Grandma and Grandpa were here. They stayed through the weekend to help Mommy and Daddy out. Nana and Papa also came by with Uncle Kevin. They loved to see me smile.

After about a week I was on East Coast time and Daddy stayed home with Mommy and I during that time. He went back to work and Mommy was busy feeding, playing, changing my diapers, and having me nap.

In May, we celebrated my 1st birthday. It was a small celebration since I just arrived. Nana, Papa, Uncle Kevin, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Doug and my cousin Tommy were there. Mommy made chicken bulgogi for everyone to eat. Everyone loved it. I chose two items from the Tol table: a ruler and a book while I wore my Hanbok from my Omma.

At the end of July, Mommy and Daddy threw me a big party and invited friends and family to introduce me to them and them to me. It was held next to a lake where we could go swimming, boating, play beach volleyball as well as eat and drink. Everyone had fun and welcomed me to the family. I had fun running around and interrupting conversations that were happening on the lawn.

The next day was my Baptism. I wore a beautiful Hanbok that Mommy and Daddy bought for the occasion. I looked quite handsome in it. The members of the church came up to Mommy, Daddy and I afterwards and commented on my Hanbok and welcomed us to the church.

In September 2005, my Mommy and I started Kindermusik classes. Mommy did this as a way of bonding. I was shy at first but like going to classes and seeing other kids around my age.

Flash forward to mid October 2005, Mommy and Daddy started the adoption process again and they were adopting a sister for me from Korea. After filling out paperwork and updating the homestudy, they went to USCIS to hand in the I-600 form and have fingerprints done again.

On December 15, 2005, the three of us plus Nana and Papa headed to family court to finalize the adoption. We saw the Judge and our lawyer. Mommy and Daddy answered the Judge's questions while I ran around the room. Within 5 minutes it was official...we were legally a family. Until that point, Mommy and Daddy's adoption agency had legal custody of me while they only had physical custody. From that point on my name would be known by Ryan Christopher and my two Korean names which my parents loved. We went home to open up presents then we went out to a restaurant to celebrate. After eating at the restaurant, Mommy, Daddy and I went to see Santa and got our picture taken with him.

On March 30th, 2006, my sister arrived. Mommy and Daddy were working on a name for her but when she arrived they were calling her by her beautiful Korean name. A week later Mommy had a name and we nicknamed her Katie.

In May 2006 we celebrated my 2nd birthday. I had a small party with just family again present. Nana, Papa, Uncle Kevin, Grandma, Grandpa, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Moore, Uncle Doug and cousin Tommy.

In late June Mommy and Daddy got a scare when Katie got really sick. She developed an infection that gave her a high fever and was subsequently hospitalized for 3 days. Mommy called Daddy up at work and told him to meet him at the hospital over an hour away from his work. Mommy took Katie and I up to the hospital where they knew that we were coming. Katie had some testing done before being sent upstairs to her room. Katie, Mommy and I were in the IV room where the nurses were trying to get an IV line in so that they could give her medicines to control the infection. After two attempts they finally got the IV line in a vein in her foot.

By the time we got done in that room, Daddy was there. It was after 6 pm and Mommy took Daddy phone to call Nana and Papa up to tell them what was going on but they weren't at home. They had gone to a concert.

They got home after the concert and checked their messages. They immediately hopped in their car and came up to the hospital. Mommy and Daddy were staying with Katie at the hospital so I was going to stay with Nana and Papa until she came back home. Mommy and Daddy ate dinner ate about 10:30 pm and slept as much as they could in the hospital chairs.

Mommy and Daddy took turns staying in the room with Katie while the other one showered or got food. Katie was never alone in the room. Mommy and Daddy knew that if another child came in, one of them would have to be kicked out of the room to make room for that child's parent. Thankfully that didn't happen. Mommy said that Daddy could stay while she slept somewhere else in the hospital. She didn't want to leave the hospital and wanted to be as close to Katie as possible.

Nana and Papa drove up to the hospital with me every day Katie was in there. I spent hours there playing with Katie and seeing and playing with Mommy and Daddy. We also brought Mommy and Daddy a change of clothes and some toiletries as well.

Mommy, Daddy and Katie spent 3 nights in the hospital and the morning of the 4th day (a Saturday) Katie was released. Her infection was more under control and her high temperature was gone. I came home on Sunday just so that Mommy and Daddy could get more rest. We had to bring Katie back to the doctors for a checkup in a couple of days. She hasn't had an infection since then thank goodness.

Katie had her first birthday celebration in mid August. Mommy and Daddy also were celebrating her arrival at the same time. Instead of the beach property which was closed, they had it at a local park with a playground. Mommy made some chicken bulgogi which got rave reviews and we had kimchi as well for those who wanted to could try it. Some people did and liked it. We also had other food for everyone to eat. The kids that Mommy and Daddy invited were kids like us...all adoptees from Korea. We all played on the playground and had fun.

Katie dressed up in her Hanbok that Omma gave to her for her first birthday.

On December 12, 2006, we headed to family court to finalize Katie's adoption. Nana, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa also came. We met our lawyer there. In the waiting area upstairs before we headed into court, I was playing near a door and the person coming up the stairs didn't notice me there. The person opened up the door and tapped me with it. I got really scared and started screaming. After a little while, the Judge came out of the courtroom and said to me with a smile on his face "Ryan, is that you yelling in my courthouse??". I fell silent at that point. Mommy and Daddy told me that morning that I needed to behave in court and in front of the Judge.

After a 10 minute proceeding of Mommy and Daddy swearing in front of the Judge certain things, Katie was legally Mommy and Daddy's little girl. Katie and I were playing behind Mommy and Daddy with the bars. Nana, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa were smiling and taking pictures and video.

After the courthouse, we went home to open up presents and then went out to eat at a local restaurant. After the restaurant, we did the seemingly traditional family picture with Santa.

This is our family....this is how it began.