Something to Think About...

I'm just wondering if you have read this A Different Perspective on Adoption. With the bonding/attachments issues that we had with Ryan at the beginning, I can completely see why he reacts the way that he does to certain things.

Let me know what you think about it.

~Jen

Playdates

Mommy set up a playdate for us with a local moms group at local park on Saturday August 23rd. We met one of Mommy's friends along with her four year old boy there and saw Mommy chat with another Mommy with her little boy there as well.

This park was just redone and we had fun playing in the sandbox, checking out the creek, eating snack in the gazebo, going down the slides, swinging on the swings, and going across the bridges and so much more.

We hope to see them again at the next playdate we attend in September.

~Ryan, Katie, and Bella

Pictures from Katie's Birthday and Party

All in their Hanboks...trying to get all three dressed in them and then out the door is always fun for these pictures!!






Big sister looking at her little sister and vice versa.




Warm day out but Ryan wanted to look nice for the pictures going to Korea to his foster mommy!!!





Getting all three kids looking at the camera is always fun!!!





Katie in her special Birthday princess shirt that we gave her.





Katie eating her slice of ice cream cake...hmmm it was good!!!!





Ryan sitting with his Uncle Kevin (my only sibling who's younger).





Ryan playing outside with his Korean mentor and Bella's mentor.




Katie dressed up with tulle ribbon in her hair done by her mentor.


Hard to believe that one of my little baby girls is three years old...where has the time gone??? It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating her 1st birthday with family and friends at our local park.

~Jen

Praise for my oldest girl!!!!!

We have a deal with the kids. If they go 7 nights without wetting, they get a trip to the toy store to pick out a present for being so good.

Katie tried before but was unsuccessful. I told her that 3 year olds don't wear pull-ups at night and that worked. The night of her birthday party she insisted on wearing her underwear. She has gone every night since without wetting her underwear and today we went out to the toy store to pick out a toy for her. Nothing tremendously expensive..the toys were her choice.

Her choice was a princess dress up set complete with tiara, necklace, clip-on earrings, bracelet, dress shoes, tutu, princess wand and some other stuff. She also picked up some diapers for her dolls...after all a little princess mommy needs to change the diapers on her babies too right??? We also got her some more princess underwear since that seems to have done the trick...hey whatever works, right???

Ryan, while discouraged, is excited for her as well since he gets to go to the toy store and he is picking out some possibilities for his gift as well. So far on the list we have some cars from the movie Cars and Thomas items.

So we have been cheering for Katie today on her accomplishment and we are cheering for Ryan as well that he will go all night without wetting soon.

~Jen

Ryan's Adoption Talk

Here's the conversation that I had with Ryan today at the breakfast nook table at lunch time. Conversations more in-depth than this one seem to only be done at the breakfast nook table over mealtime...

Ryan: I'm going to adopt a baby.
Me: okay Ryan that's wonderful to hear. Where are you thinking of adopting the baby from?
Ryan: Korea (like there is any place else to adopt a baby, Mom!!)
Me: Oh that'll be really special sweetie...when are you adopting the baby?
Ryan: Not now, Mom, I need to go play first.

~Jen

It's Official...Bella is ours and we are hers

Mommy and Daddy woke us up at 7 am this morning to eat breakfast and get dressed to go to court. Mommy mentioned to us repeatedly that we would be seeing the judge dressed up in his robes and that we had to be extra good in court today.

Daddy had to wake up Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug, and Tommy since they stayed over from Katie's birthday party yesterday to go to court today. Mommy, Daddy, and us kids were the only ones to eat breakfast this morning. Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug and Tommy didn't have breakfast this morning until after court. Our appointment was at 8:45 at court...we arrived before that to meet with the lawyer.

When we arrived in court we walked through a gate that beeped that had a guard at it. Mommy, Daddy and everyone else carrying a bag, phone, or had keys needed to put them through a tunnel and then collect them when they came out. I put my toy camera up on it to send it through. The guard looked at our water cups that came through in our cooler bag as well.

We waited for a little while in the waiting area before our lawyer came in. He went upstairs to check on things then called us upstairs to wait up there. While we were up there waiting, Daddy and Mommy were talking to another adoptive parent who adopted through the same agency they used 20+ years ago and also adopted an 8 year old girl from the Phillipines about 15 years ago. Small world huh??

We were then directed down the hall and into the courtroom...it was the same judge who did my finalization and Katie's finalization and the same courtroom. We all walked in there and Katie and I could sit in the front. The judge shook Daddy and Mommy's hand and went to shake mine but I didn't want him to. The judge talked to Mommy and Daddy and so did our lawyer as well (just like Mommy said would happen). Mommy and Daddy had to sign their names to one piece of paper. After a little while, the judge shook their hands and said "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Cox".

After that we had pictures taken with the judge...lots and lots of pictures. Then it was over. We all left the courthouse building and came home for more pictures of us at home by Bella's homecoming flag. So Papa took some pictures at Mommy's request.

We went out to eat at a local restaurant. I ate all of my chicken fingers and my fries as well. Everyone commented on how good their food was. From there Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Doug and Tommy went home to Massachusetts. Uncle Kevin went home to Pennsylvania. And we went to our home as well.

If you're lucky, maybe Mommy will put up one or two.

Today we are officially a family...

~Ryan

Katie's 3rd Birthday Party!!!

We had family and the kids' mentors over for Katie's 3rd Birthday party. She got really shy once everyone arrived. When it came time to her opening up her gifts, she couldn't wait. She enjoyed having Kathleen and Jen over and is warming up to Tae as well.

She loved eating the chicken bulgogi I made and cheese and crackers and the seasoned mung bean sprouts.

The ice cream cake we got was a hit with her as well. It was made by a local ice cream shop. It was delicious and we are definitely getting another one if we have another ice cream cake for somebody's birthday.

We are exhausted, I ran two dishwasher loads of dirty dishes but we enjoyed everyone's company here in celebrating Katie's 3rd birthday with her and with us.

~Jen

The Day is Almost Here...

Bella's adoption finalization is tomorrow morning. It shouldn't be more than 5-10 minutes...I think the picture-taking with the judge for both Ryan and Katie's finalization was longer than the actual ceremony itself. We have the same lawyer for Bella's adoption that we had Ryan's and Katie's. It's a bit funny that we had the lawyer picked out since 2002 before we had an adoption agency picked out.

We are having alot of family present this time around unlike the past two finalizations. My parents, my brother, Jeff's parents, his brother and our nephew are going to be present. I'm just hoping to get everyone here in my home up and out of the home by 8 am. Jeff and I are waking up at 6:30.

And I'm not used to finalizations during the summer months, Ryan and Katie's finalizations were in December.

As of tomorrow, it'll be official. Bella is ours and we, Jeff, Jen, Ryan and Katie, are her family.

~Jen

Katie's 3rd Birthday

Today is Our Princess Katie's Day!!!

She is turning three today. We have been told of this milestone from her for awhile now (since her last birthday I think). We are doing pictures in the Hanboks as a tradition that I started with them...special day requires a special outfit.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate for my girl so that pictures can be done outside with her siblings. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Pictures that I will post later since we have a birthday party with family and a few friends as well tomorrow.

Questions that I asked Katie and her responses:

Me: Katie, what is your favorite color?
Katie: Purple and pink

Me: What is your favorite holiday?
Katie: Daddy's Day

Me: What is your favorite snack?
Katie: hmmm let me think...cookies (her face smiling)

Me: What is your favorite place to shop?
Katie: a store

Me: What is your favorite animal?
Katie: lion...do lions bite?
Me: yes Katie, lions bite

Me: What is your favorite meal that Mommy makes?
Katie: cereal

Me: What is your favorite place to go eat out?
Katie: Jitters

Me: What is your favorite flavor for ice cream?
Katie: ice cream (Do you like her thinking??)

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Katie: a mommy

Me: If you could go anywhere, where would it be?
Katie: to the zoo

Me: What is your favorite toy?
Katie: the zebra (it's a ride on toy that bounces up and down) she rides it every day

Me: What is your favorite game?
Katie: computer games

Me: What is your favorite candy?
Katie: chocolate candy I love her logic again.

We now have a 4 year old, a 3 year old and an 18 month old in our home. YIKES!!! Where has the time gone??

As with each of the other kids' birthdays, I hope and pray that her First Mom is safe and has somebody she can talk to. I think of her daily as I gaze upon my children's faces. I pray that she knows that we kept her children together.

~Jen

Cousin Chris

Well we're having a rough morning this Friday morning. Jeff's cousin Chris came into town and spent the night with us last night. The kids stayed up past their bedtime to see him and then play for a little while. This morning Ryan and Katie but mostly Ryan were upset that he had to go. Apparently Chris made a big impression on him. Ryan was particularly sad to see Chris go but understands that he had to go to work just like his Daddy does.

We'll have to figure out when we are able to get together with Ryan's big cousin Chris and his wife so that Ryan can have fun again with him. We enjoyed the corn muffins that his wife, Nancy, made and we'll be enjoying the tomatoes from their garden as well.

We miss you, Chris!!

~Jen

Monday, August 11th, 2008...or the end of Daddy's 3 week "vacation"

Hi,

Today the kids are having difficulty in adjusting to life with just Mommy at home again and no Nana, no Papa, no Uncle Kevin, and particularly no Daddy. While Jeff and I were in Atlanta for a week (trust me NOT a vacation by any stretch of the imagination), the kids were with my parents who stayed in our home (did I say "Thank You Mom and Dad" enough yet??). Then the two oldest went to spend a week with my brother in Pennsylvania (Thank you Kevin as well). After that my parents took the two oldest while we had Bella here at home. The two oldest came home Wednesday evening of last week.

Daddy and the three kids had fun at the park, going shopping at the grocery stores, playing outside on our slide, multiple ride on toys and in the sandbox, and more. They were sad to see Daddy go to work this morning and asked about their other play buddies (Nana and Papa in particular). Nana is at work today and Papa (well Papa managed to get himself sick so he can't come and play with them until he is feeling better...get better soon Papa we need you here to play).

The kids miss their Daddy, particularly Ryan. He didn't want Daddy to go back to work. Ryan doesn't want Daddy to work each week Monday through Friday.

Hopefully as we get back into our regular routine, things will get better. Until then, we will have the meltdowns, we will have the attitude, we will have the youngest one not napping, we will have the behaviorial issues that some will see as my children acting up but I will look this as a whole and wonder perhaps it is just the kids way of saying we disapprove of the loss of Daddy in the home. Even if that loss is just for 9-10 hours Monday through Friday.

~Jen

Remain in One Spot so that I Can Find You...

Ryan needed to go upstairs to his room for something. He told his Daddy to stay exactly where he was (which was in the kitchen/breakfast nook area of our home). Jeff told him that he would remain exactly in that spot. Ryan went upstairs, grabbed what he needed to from his room, and climbed back downstairs. Jeff was still in the same spot where Ryan left him...ready to give him a hug to ease his worries and any of his fears.

When one of his sisters are at my parents' house for the night or weekend, he is concerned about their well-being as well. He needs to know where they are at and what they are doing.

It wasn't surprising for us. We know the thing he fears the most right now is more loss that he can't control. He loves us and we love him very much along with his tender caring heart.

And the message from our son was this Can you just remain in one spot so that I can find you...please??? And by the way, don't leave...

We are always here for you buddy be it during a thunderstorm, be it when you come home from Nana and Papa's house, or be it just a trip up and down the stairs and we'll be here in the future as well...

~Jen

The Date We've Been Waiting for...

Our lawyer called at 1:15 today. We have a court date for Bella's finalization!!! We are heading to court on the morning of the 18th. While we are sad that she could not stay with her First Mom (as we feel it is truly best that the child(ren) stay with their First Family), we are happy that we are finalizing her adoption at last.

~Jen