My dearest 5 year old daughter,
On this date 5 years ago, Daddy and I were flying back from
Korea with you. You
cried when you were placed in my arms and we were whisked away in the van to the
airport. As we were in the van, I saw
the heavy tears coming from her foster mom. Seeing and hearing both you and your Foster Mom cry,
I cried too.
I fell in love with
the beautiful country and its people. I
cried for your loss and your brother and sister's loss. I cried for your First Mom's loss and your Foster Mom's loss, your loss of country and customs, language, smells, tastes,
and more that I cannot put into words. I cried because you are my
child as well as the child of your First Mom and Foster Mom's.
You cried so hard when we left Eastern that I wondered if you would stop to catch your breath but you did. I held you in my arms while Daddy took pictures of Seoul as we were leaving it. You fell asleep in the baby carrier in my arms after about an hour. My tears were streaming from my eyes. How beautiful you look...how you look so much like your sister but had some of the same mannerisms as your big brother.
You fell asleep only to be woken up by me as I got out of the van to go into the airport. You were crying...crying as you looked about for your Foster Mom. Oh how my heart just sobbed with yours! The first leg of the flight was full of you crying...I held you walking up and down the aisle so many times. I felt so many eyes staring at us but I only looked at you. You and I spent roughly an hour sitting next to an older Korean woman who got you to smile and fed you. I heard her tell you that I was your Mommy. She played with you as well to cheer you up. I thanked her and her husband who willingly gave up his seat for awhile.
From Incheon Airport to Atlanta, Georgia you were awake so I was awake with you. On the flight from Atlanta to our home airport, you slept roughly 2 hours out of the 3. I didn't want to move when we arrived at our airport, since this was the first real sleep you had. At 11:30 at night on November 20th, 2007, we arrived. Daddy carried out all of the carry-ons while I carried you. My family, Daddy's family, and some of our friends met us at the airport. Your brother and sister met us in their fleece pajamas. I sat in the back of the car with you in the car seat. Nana had bought you a Glow Worm which kept you entertained for the 40 minute ride back to our home.
Over the 5 years that you have been here, I have said daily prayers for your First Mom and Foster Mom. So many that I cannot even begin to count. I am sorry that you felt sad today and I hope that we are celebrating your day today the way that you wanted to celebrate it. When we lit the candle today I said more prayers...prayers for you, prayers for your Foster Mom, and prayers for your First Mom, a woman that I haven't met but think about each day.
Thank you, my little one, for all of your snuggles you have given me over the years as well as the hugs. You have grown into a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and caring girl.
If only your Foster Mom and First Mom could see you now....
With much love,
~Your Mommy
