Okay I have been sick for going almost 2 weeks now and it shows no sign of stopping. Katie is sick again with sneezing and a runny nose. Ryan isn't over his sickness yet either but he isn't resting. How does one stop a near 4 year old since a cold hasn't??? Onto Bella, she is getting over one ailment only to have what looks like a cold now. But DH is fine.
I'm tired of telling each child to blow their noses, use the nasal aspirators on them and more. Hopefully they will be over their sicknesses soon!!!!
~Jen
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Sorrows this Lunar New Year...
We are listening to traditional Korean lullabyes and other Korean music while I'm sitting here typing this in. I read something this morning that set me thinking.
It's from Touched by Adoption 2008 Calendar and it talked about infinite are the losses and the joys in adoption. I pondered how many losses each one of the children in my household have had.
Here's something for you all to ponder about: While I've been celebrating Seol-nal otherwise known as Korean Lunar New Year (or trying to in our sick household but I'll update you all in about that in another post), my thoughts are in Korea. My children's First Mom (and her family) won't see them dressed up in their Hanboks, see them bow to each of their ancestors, touch them and hold them, smile upon them and so much more. What makes me so sad this year is that my little Bella is celebrating her Tol next week with family and friends here. I know that both on her birthday and the day of her birthday party, I'll end up crying. It may not be with family and friends present but I will be crying for Bella's inifite losses, her First Mom's infinite losses, and her Foster Mom's infinite losses as well. There is another loss that I can't even begin to explain here but it's a loss of hers just the same.
Bella will be turning one and she has had more losses in her young life than I had by age 10!!!
How many losses have you had in the first year of your life? Did you lose your First Mom? Did you lose your homeland? Did you lose your culture and heritage? Did you lose your language of your homeland? Did you lose your First Mom's family along with your First Dad's? Did you lose the relationship with familiar faces that you knew in your homeland? Did you lose your ability to talk to your First Mom in her native tongue?
What losses have you endured in the first year after your birth? I bet to most of you reading, you haven't had the losses my kids have had unless you were adopted or are a First Mom. Hence the reason why I cry on my kids birthdays, on their arrival days, on their referral days, on the anniversaries of their family days, on Mother's Day and Father's Day and days like Seol-nal when they would be honoring their ancestors.
I can imagine that some of you reading this won't understand this but I can't be called Omma (the Korean word for Mommy). Omma isn't me...it's the Foster moms for my kids. They are Omma, not me. Nor will I wear an Omma pendant. I have no right. If my girls want to wear one, it's up to them. They have an Omma...I don't. And I can see the other see the other side of the story where people would say that I'm honoring their Omma. Unfortunately I don't see it that way after what I went through with Ryan's sheer sadness for 3 months after his arrival. I would rather wear a necklace with a heart on it that I picked up from Korea to honor their First mom and pick a special pendant out to honor their Omma and design a pendant with my children's names in Hangul.
On this Seol-nal holiday, we are hoping that their First Mom is healthy and we wish her a long beautiful life. We are just hoping that Ryan and Katie's Omma loved the 5 photo albums that we gave her in November when we were there. We hope that she is looking at the pictures of our kids that she has on her cell phone every day. We hope that she is well. We also hope with Bella's Omma that her tears of sorrow on the day that Bella left aren't as numerous and that she is healthy and has a long life.
We are lighting a candle this Seol-nal to remind us of the losses and of the hope to have a continuing relationship with their Ommas always, the chance to see Korea once again, and special prayers for their First Mom.
For more information about Seol-nal see Seol-nal Korean Lunar New Year.
With many sorrows and hopes on this Seol-nal holiday,
~Jen
It's from Touched by Adoption 2008 Calendar and it talked about infinite are the losses and the joys in adoption. I pondered how many losses each one of the children in my household have had.
Here's something for you all to ponder about: While I've been celebrating Seol-nal otherwise known as Korean Lunar New Year (or trying to in our sick household but I'll update you all in about that in another post), my thoughts are in Korea. My children's First Mom (and her family) won't see them dressed up in their Hanboks, see them bow to each of their ancestors, touch them and hold them, smile upon them and so much more. What makes me so sad this year is that my little Bella is celebrating her Tol next week with family and friends here. I know that both on her birthday and the day of her birthday party, I'll end up crying. It may not be with family and friends present but I will be crying for Bella's inifite losses, her First Mom's infinite losses, and her Foster Mom's infinite losses as well. There is another loss that I can't even begin to explain here but it's a loss of hers just the same.
Bella will be turning one and she has had more losses in her young life than I had by age 10!!!
How many losses have you had in the first year of your life? Did you lose your First Mom? Did you lose your homeland? Did you lose your culture and heritage? Did you lose your language of your homeland? Did you lose your First Mom's family along with your First Dad's? Did you lose the relationship with familiar faces that you knew in your homeland? Did you lose your ability to talk to your First Mom in her native tongue?
What losses have you endured in the first year after your birth? I bet to most of you reading, you haven't had the losses my kids have had unless you were adopted or are a First Mom. Hence the reason why I cry on my kids birthdays, on their arrival days, on their referral days, on the anniversaries of their family days, on Mother's Day and Father's Day and days like Seol-nal when they would be honoring their ancestors.
I can imagine that some of you reading this won't understand this but I can't be called Omma (the Korean word for Mommy). Omma isn't me...it's the Foster moms for my kids. They are Omma, not me. Nor will I wear an Omma pendant. I have no right. If my girls want to wear one, it's up to them. They have an Omma...I don't. And I can see the other see the other side of the story where people would say that I'm honoring their Omma. Unfortunately I don't see it that way after what I went through with Ryan's sheer sadness for 3 months after his arrival. I would rather wear a necklace with a heart on it that I picked up from Korea to honor their First mom and pick a special pendant out to honor their Omma and design a pendant with my children's names in Hangul.
On this Seol-nal holiday, we are hoping that their First Mom is healthy and we wish her a long beautiful life. We are just hoping that Ryan and Katie's Omma loved the 5 photo albums that we gave her in November when we were there. We hope that she is looking at the pictures of our kids that she has on her cell phone every day. We hope that she is well. We also hope with Bella's Omma that her tears of sorrow on the day that Bella left aren't as numerous and that she is healthy and has a long life.
We are lighting a candle this Seol-nal to remind us of the losses and of the hope to have a continuing relationship with their Ommas always, the chance to see Korea once again, and special prayers for their First Mom.
For more information about Seol-nal see Seol-nal Korean Lunar New Year.
With many sorrows and hopes on this Seol-nal holiday,
~Jen
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Sick household...
We've all been sick here...Katie came down with a cold right before she was supposed to go spend the night at Nana and Papa's. Then Mommy came down with it. I ran around the house Monday and Tuesday much to Mommy's dismay and got sick as well. Daddy was home sick Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I think it was Thursday that Bella finally got sick.
Mommy is finally on the mend although tired out from remaking the beds, helping us to blow our noses, getting up in the middle of the night to take our temperatures, making Jello for us and more.
Daddy is heading back to work tomorrow morning. He's feeling better as well.
Bella has had a temperature both Friday and Saturday night but so far no temperature today. YIPEE!!!! She is still miserable at times but Mommy or Daddy don't constantly have to hold her. She still is coughing some and has a runny nose but is doing better.
Katie is slowly getting over this cold. She still has a cough and runny nose along with myself. I think we're beginning to understand why Mommy and Daddy told us to stop running around the house while we're sick and to nap.
We are just hoping that we're well enough to celebrate Seol-nal (Lunar New Year) with some friends of ours this weekend. Mommy needs to go grocery shopping and pick up some chicken for Chicken Bulgogi and mung bean sprouts as well.
Well I gotta go rest since I'm supposed to be sleeping
~Ryan
Mommy is finally on the mend although tired out from remaking the beds, helping us to blow our noses, getting up in the middle of the night to take our temperatures, making Jello for us and more.
Daddy is heading back to work tomorrow morning. He's feeling better as well.
Bella has had a temperature both Friday and Saturday night but so far no temperature today. YIPEE!!!! She is still miserable at times but Mommy or Daddy don't constantly have to hold her. She still is coughing some and has a runny nose but is doing better.
Katie is slowly getting over this cold. She still has a cough and runny nose along with myself. I think we're beginning to understand why Mommy and Daddy told us to stop running around the house while we're sick and to nap.
We are just hoping that we're well enough to celebrate Seol-nal (Lunar New Year) with some friends of ours this weekend. Mommy needs to go grocery shopping and pick up some chicken for Chicken Bulgogi and mung bean sprouts as well.
Well I gotta go rest since I'm supposed to be sleeping
~Ryan
Monday, January 28, 2008
Tears of Joy...Tears of Sorrow
My little girl is so close to walking it's amazing. She took 10 steps before falling down yesterday. She was so proud of herself. She wants to walk to me and not to her Daddy. I'm so happy that she prefers me. I never had that with Ryan at this age. He preferred Daddy. Katie didn't really care one way or the other who she went to although she is more of a Daddy's girl.
Last night, I cried before I headed to bed. This little thing that you might think is fairly insignificant was a huge thing to me last night. This is one more milestone that the First Mom is missing out on. My little B is walking before her first birthday (yet another milestone and something of great importance for Koreans).
On R's and K's birthdays in the past, I have had many happy moments. At night, I'm sitting and crying about the losses both they and their First Mom have endured. So many losses in their young lives...too many for ones so young and innocent.
When we started our adoption journey back in May of 2004 to become parents never did I expect that I would be blessed with three beautiful children. Never did I expect all of the emotions I would be having either.
I cry on each one of the kids' Airplane days (Arrival Days), I cry on each one of their birthdays, I cry on the day that we were officially a family.
These children have lost so much. Loss of their First Mom, loss of extended members of their birthfamily, loss of language, loss of culture, loss of having just Korean friends, loss of foster family, loss of seeing Korea, loss of their homeland, loss of their Korean citizenship, and so much more.
Their First mom has lost so much as well. Loss of her children, loss of her grandchildren and the rest of the family line, loss of seeing her children grow up, loss of seeing the milestones in their lives, loss of being able to communicate with them in Korean, loss of seeing them, hearing them, and touching them, loss of seeing if their personalities are similar to her own, and so much more.
I hope that their First Mom knows how much I love her children. I hope that she knows that I kept them together. I wrote her a letter and physically placed that letter in the kids files. I pray that she reads it. I hope that she'll continue to check the file for more letters that I'll write. I hope that she enjoys the kids' artwork that they want to send to her.
I hope that their foster families continue to read the letters I send them. I hope that they see all of the artwork the kids want to send to them. Most of the artwork thus far goes to Korea. I am able to keep very little of the artwork. This is how much my two oldest kids love their foster family. Their foster family is our family as well. We love them just like we would any other family member.
I hope that someday soon we can travel as a family to Korea. So that R and K can see their foster family and that B can see hers. R says that he's sad that his Omma doesn't live here with us. I tell him that I'm sad too and I'm sure that his Omma misses him very much.
Well I gotta go so that we can listen and try singing along to some Korean music as we do every day for at least an hour (most days it's much more than that). I just hope that I don't breakdown and cry again while listening to it thinking about all of the losses.
~Jen
Last night, I cried before I headed to bed. This little thing that you might think is fairly insignificant was a huge thing to me last night. This is one more milestone that the First Mom is missing out on. My little B is walking before her first birthday (yet another milestone and something of great importance for Koreans).
On R's and K's birthdays in the past, I have had many happy moments. At night, I'm sitting and crying about the losses both they and their First Mom have endured. So many losses in their young lives...too many for ones so young and innocent.
When we started our adoption journey back in May of 2004 to become parents never did I expect that I would be blessed with three beautiful children. Never did I expect all of the emotions I would be having either.
I cry on each one of the kids' Airplane days (Arrival Days), I cry on each one of their birthdays, I cry on the day that we were officially a family.
These children have lost so much. Loss of their First Mom, loss of extended members of their birthfamily, loss of language, loss of culture, loss of having just Korean friends, loss of foster family, loss of seeing Korea, loss of their homeland, loss of their Korean citizenship, and so much more.
Their First mom has lost so much as well. Loss of her children, loss of her grandchildren and the rest of the family line, loss of seeing her children grow up, loss of seeing the milestones in their lives, loss of being able to communicate with them in Korean, loss of seeing them, hearing them, and touching them, loss of seeing if their personalities are similar to her own, and so much more.
I hope that their First Mom knows how much I love her children. I hope that she knows that I kept them together. I wrote her a letter and physically placed that letter in the kids files. I pray that she reads it. I hope that she'll continue to check the file for more letters that I'll write. I hope that she enjoys the kids' artwork that they want to send to her.
I hope that their foster families continue to read the letters I send them. I hope that they see all of the artwork the kids want to send to them. Most of the artwork thus far goes to Korea. I am able to keep very little of the artwork. This is how much my two oldest kids love their foster family. Their foster family is our family as well. We love them just like we would any other family member.
I hope that someday soon we can travel as a family to Korea. So that R and K can see their foster family and that B can see hers. R says that he's sad that his Omma doesn't live here with us. I tell him that I'm sad too and I'm sure that his Omma misses him very much.
Well I gotta go so that we can listen and try singing along to some Korean music as we do every day for at least an hour (most days it's much more than that). I just hope that I don't breakdown and cry again while listening to it thinking about all of the losses.
~Jen
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Many uses of Fingerpaint...
Did you know about the many uses of fingerpaints?
(1) You can paint on the fingerpaint paper
or if that's too boring for you...
(2) You can paint the breakfast nook table a nice shade of red, blue, yellow and green
(3) You can paint the chair, booster chair, and breakfast nook floor a nice shade of yellow
(4) You can paint the step stool in the bathroom a nice shade of blue while you're washing your hands
(5) You can paint the sink in the bathroom various shades of red, blue, yellow and green
(6) You can paint your arms with it up to your elbows
and lastly
(7) You can put a small dot of blue paint on your lips after Mommy told you not to do so
Needless to say there was a big cleanup afterwards.
~Jen
(1) You can paint on the fingerpaint paper
or if that's too boring for you...
(2) You can paint the breakfast nook table a nice shade of red, blue, yellow and green
(3) You can paint the chair, booster chair, and breakfast nook floor a nice shade of yellow
(4) You can paint the step stool in the bathroom a nice shade of blue while you're washing your hands
(5) You can paint the sink in the bathroom various shades of red, blue, yellow and green
(6) You can paint your arms with it up to your elbows
and lastly
(7) You can put a small dot of blue paint on your lips after Mommy told you not to do so
Needless to say there was a big cleanup afterwards.
~Jen
Steps...
We've had some big moments in our home and 2008 has barely started. For starters, Bella took her first step to me on January 9th. Ryan was walking/running when he came home at 10 1/2 months and Katie took her first step to Jeff on Father's Day. This time I was honored with the first step.
Last night, Bella took 4 steps while in her room. I'm the only one who got to see it.
She is eating more finger foods as well...ones besides the every mother's dream of Cheerios. She will eat green beans, banana, and sometimes even pear. She is still unwilling to hold her bottle while sitting up and a training sippy cup is for throwing, right??? She is still behind her peers with foods however and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet for her come her first birthday...can't exactly make a cake out of cheerios and rice cereal????
Or can we???? Well that's something to ponder about...
In other news, Ryan wants to learn to read and write so that he can write a letter to his Omma (something which Jeff and I are fine with). Katie had a set back with potty training but hopefully she will be having better days ahead.
~Jen
Last night, Bella took 4 steps while in her room. I'm the only one who got to see it.
She is eating more finger foods as well...ones besides the every mother's dream of Cheerios. She will eat green beans, banana, and sometimes even pear. She is still unwilling to hold her bottle while sitting up and a training sippy cup is for throwing, right??? She is still behind her peers with foods however and I'm not sure what I'm doing yet for her come her first birthday...can't exactly make a cake out of cheerios and rice cereal????
Or can we???? Well that's something to ponder about...
In other news, Ryan wants to learn to read and write so that he can write a letter to his Omma (something which Jeff and I are fine with). Katie had a set back with potty training but hopefully she will be having better days ahead.
~Jen
Sunday, January 13, 2008
ADOPTION: Opening those Closed Records
While we didn't adopt domestically, we were involved with an adoption agency for nearly 2 years on their waiting list. What drew us to this agency was the idea of having an open adoption with the First Mom (that agency calls them birthmothers). We never made it off of their waiting list that had 20 families on it. Our last check with them we were # 8 before we were told that they were trying to switch everyone over to international adoption into a program that we didn't feel comfortable with at all.
Today in our local newspaper, not during National Adoption Month in November, there is a long article that is on the front page about an adult adoptee who is searching for her First Mom.
I do hope that the bill passes this time. The bill is sponsored by Senator Bill Larkin (R-Cornwall-on-Hudson). To view the bill head to Information on Bill A02277. The gist of this bill is to provide identifying information to the child in a closed adoption when the child turns 18 years old. I do hope for all involved in the Adoption Triad (adoptee, adoptive parent, and First parents) that the adoption records are opened.
To read the article go to: Newspaper Article on Adoption Records
Please read Musings of the Lame under Blogs from First Moms or go to it directly at Musings of the Lame. It's a wonderful blog from a First Mom that Jeff and I had the pleasure of meeting at the KAAN Conference in Boston last year.
~Jen
Today in our local newspaper, not during National Adoption Month in November, there is a long article that is on the front page about an adult adoptee who is searching for her First Mom.
I do hope that the bill passes this time. The bill is sponsored by Senator Bill Larkin (R-Cornwall-on-Hudson). To view the bill head to Information on Bill A02277. The gist of this bill is to provide identifying information to the child in a closed adoption when the child turns 18 years old. I do hope for all involved in the Adoption Triad (adoptee, adoptive parent, and First parents) that the adoption records are opened.
To read the article go to: Newspaper Article on Adoption Records
Please read Musings of the Lame under Blogs from First Moms or go to it directly at Musings of the Lame. It's a wonderful blog from a First Mom that Jeff and I had the pleasure of meeting at the KAAN Conference in Boston last year.
~Jen
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