My letter to my daughter on her Family Anniversary Day

My dearest 5 year old daughter,

On this date 5 years ago, Daddy and I were flying back from Korea with you.   You cried when you were placed in my arms and we were whisked away in the van to the airport.   As we were in the van, I saw the heavy tears coming from her foster mom.    Seeing and hearing both you and your Foster Mom cry, I cried too.  

I fell in love with the beautiful country and its people.  I cried for your loss and your brother and sister's loss.   I cried for your First Mom's loss and your Foster Mom's loss, your loss of country and customs, language, smells, tastes, and more that I cannot put into words.   I cried because you are my child as well as the child of your First Mom and Foster Mom's.   

You cried so hard when we left Eastern that I wondered if you would stop to catch your breath but you did.   I held you in my arms while Daddy took pictures of Seoul as we were leaving it.   You fell asleep in the baby carrier in my arms after about an hour.     My tears were streaming from my eyes.   How beautiful you look...how you look so much like your sister but had some of the same mannerisms as your big brother.      

You fell asleep only to be woken up by me as I got out of the van to go into the airport.  You were crying...crying as you looked about for your Foster Mom.   Oh how my heart just sobbed with yours!    The first leg of the flight was full of you crying...I held you walking up and down the aisle so many times.   I felt so many eyes staring at us but I only looked at you.   You and I spent roughly an hour sitting next to an older Korean woman who got you to smile and fed you.    I heard her tell you that I was your Mommy.   She played with you as well to cheer you up.   I thanked her and her husband who willingly gave up his seat for awhile.  

From Incheon Airport to Atlanta, Georgia you were awake so I was awake with you.  On the flight from Atlanta to our home airport, you slept roughly 2 hours out of the 3.    I didn't want to move when we arrived at our airport, since this was the first real sleep you had.   At 11:30 at night on November 20th, 2007, we arrived.   Daddy carried out all of the carry-ons while I carried you.   My family, Daddy's family, and some of our friends met us at the airport.   Your brother and sister met us in their fleece pajamas.  I sat in the back of the car with you in the car seat.   Nana had bought you a Glow Worm which kept you entertained for the 40 minute ride back to our home. 

Over the 5 years that you have been here, I have said daily prayers for your First Mom and Foster Mom.    So many that I cannot even begin to count.   I am sorry that you felt sad today and I hope that we are celebrating your day today the way that you wanted to celebrate it.   When we lit the candle today I said more prayers...prayers for you, prayers for your Foster Mom, and prayers for your First Mom, a woman that I haven't met but think about each day.  

Thank you, my little one, for all of your snuggles you have given me over the years as well as the hugs.    You have grown into a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and caring girl.   

If only your Foster Mom and First Mom could see you now....    

With much love,

~Your Mommy

친구 and 가족 (friends and family)

My children were bouncing off the walls Wednesday waiting for Camp Mujigae to start...to make new friends and play with some old ones and learn about Korea.  We looked forward to saying hi to our old counselors and making friends with new ones.  We learned about Korean history, learned how say and write words in Hangul, had a Korean folktale where we learned about the sun and moon, and more.   Each day we left Mujigae saddened that we couldn't stay overnight with the seniors and counselors.   We ate lunch there for 2 days and dinner there for one day. 

My children each have their counselors who just they just adore and look forward to talking with all the time.  Seong Tae moved up from Discovery to Explorer and just loved the classes he did.   He talked with his counselors and made it a huge point to hug them and  say goodbye to both of them today we left camp.   One of his counselors even paid for Seong Tae's lunch today!!!   The friendships that he form at camp are just immeasurable.   He looks forward to camp happening next year and so wishes for camp to happen every week.   

Eun Seong sought out and hung around her counselor from last year and had a blast hanging with the counselors today.   They took her in under their protective wing showering her with sisterly and brotherly love and friendship with plenty of hugs.   

Tae Hee loved coming to camp even though she was nervous after moving up to Discovery campers from Rising Stars.   I got the privilege to attend camp with her for 2 mornings and learned quite a bit myself.   Her counselors were just wonderful with her and the other campers.  They got her to come out of her shell for awhile which was very nice to see.

Today marked the last day of Camp Mujigae for this year which always saddens us.   We got up early to make the hour drive to campus for me to do the Rising Stars group of campers (those children under 5 years old).  I had some help from my friends Libby and her family and Innae.    Both were invaluable to me and I do hope that both will be involved with camp for years to come.  My group had the same folktales that the older children had.  We had two older campers who had siblings in my group and gave away where the brother and sister were hiding in the tree in the folktale.   The SIWA students who were playing the brother and sister told the campers shh shh please don't give us away!!  It was all quite cute!!   Parents and campers alike really enjoyed it.    I already have Taekwondo lined up for next year for Rising Stars and can put it on the schedule for SIWA students as well.   

The craft that I had done was just perfect for this group.    They had a blast making and playing with the drums that I had pulled together.

Our three children submitted essays to Camp Mujigae's 1st Essay Contest and they won!!!!    I had to walk Tae Hee up to the steps to receive her award of a Korean bookmark/letter opener/hairpin, gift card, and Korean pencil case.   Eun Seong and Seong Tae won similar gifts.    We are so very proud of  our children for writing their essays and having the courage to submit them in to be judged.   

All of the campers got a special gift today as well after lunch.   My daughters each received a traditional Korean mask and my son received a traditional Korean woodwind instrument.    We are TRULY blessed by this community that has welcomed our family with their loving open arms!!! 

We got done with our lunch and finished packing up the gym.   We ended up staying until 3 pm as our children wanted to play with other children and hang out with the counselors that were still on campus.  

We are all exhausted but very happy that we have attended camp once again.  Now I need to determine if I'm doing Rising Stars again next year.   Originally I started volunteering so that my daughters would have their Rising Stars program.  This year I did it for the other parents' children.  Next year who knows what may happen....

I know for a fact that my campers truly love their Mujigae and their Mujigae loves them right back!!!!   Thank you to my fellow camp committee members for a job well done.   Thank you to the SIWA students and church members for helping to teach the classes!!   Thank you to the members of Madang and Sound for teaching our children Pansori and Woodwind classes!!!   Thank you to Heather Murphy our wonderful Camp Director!!!  Thank you to Wook-Jin Hwang our Cultural Director!!!  Thank you to our counselors who make our children feel at ease and have fun with them!!   Thank you to our volunteers because without you, camp doesn't happen!!!

Yes this family loves their Mujigae and cannot wait for next year's!!!!

If you are on the fence about going to KAAN which is in Albany, please attend.   We'll have a mini Mujigae reunion!!!    

Camp Mujigae is on YNN!!!!

Camp Mujigae is in the news thanks to Camp Director Heather Murphy (WOO HOO!!!!!!! LOVE YA HEATHER!!!!!) and YNN's Innae Park. Camp Mujigae is definitely THE CAMP to attend, to build friendships with not only other campers but also Korean Americans, and Koreans (my shout outs of thanks to the women of SIWA from Sookmyung Women's University from Seoul, South Korea and their instructors who prepare this group of women).

If you want to learn more about Korea, please attend our Family Day, see the wonderful events for it, eat a wonderful delicious Korean meal, and send your children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews to camp to learn more.

Mingle Restaurant is having a wonderful fundraiser for Camp Mujigae on March 30th so if you're in the area, please attend that day from 11:30 to closing. We are planning on attending and you should too!!!

~Jen

A serious discussion about age

My children know that is quite rude to ask a woman her age.    My children had this discussion this afternoon after Seong Tae tried to convince me that he he was old enough to stay up as late as he wanted to:

Seong Tae:   I'm a grown-up
Me:              Really??   Then you need to decide what job you are going to get
Seong Tae:   I'm a kid then
Tae Hee:      Mommy is a teenager, I think

Now I'm thinking I want to be in my mid twenties instead but oh well right now I'll be the teenager who dances to music while washing dishes, who needs to have the radio on when I'm cleaning, and who grabs her children every now and then for a dance.  

~Jen

Oh no!!! Not the Subject of Racism!!!

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines RACISM as:

1: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

2: racial prejudice or discrimination

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines the prefix Anti-as:

1a : of the same kind but situated opposite, exerting energy in the opposite direction, or pursuing an opposite policy <anticlinal>
b : one that is opposite in kind to <anticlimax>

2a : opposing or hostile to in opinion, sympathy, or practice <anti-Semite> b : opposing in effect or activity <antacid>

3: serving to prevent, cure, or alleviate <antianxiety>

4: combating or defending against <antiaircraft> <antimissile>

So anti-racism would be anything that is combating racism.

We live in a predominantly Caucasian area here in New York. One of our local radio stations, 810 WGY, posted on their facebook page earlier this afternoon about a mayor in Duluth, Georgia who is endorsing the "Un-Fair Campaign". The poster from WGY commented on their facebook page was this "Wow! Thoughts?". Apparently there is also some controversy with this campaign as well.

The term White Privilege was something that I learned about at session from KAAN's Conference in Boston in July 2007. I learned that when I walk down a street, I don't need to worry about being stopped by a police officer and questioned as to why I'm in that neighborhood like other races might experience. I learned that my children would experience white privilege when they are with me...something that I hadn't even thought about before. When they are away from me it is a totally different story and they wouldn't have this privilege.

I'd like to know your thoughts about the Un-Fair Campaign. Right now, I'm glad it is being brought to light and starting up the discussion on racism and more discussion on White Privilege. If you would like to talk more about this subject or other thought provoking ones, please attend the KAAN Conference in Albany, New York July 27 - 29th. I will be attending and hope to see you there!!

~Jen

Read this open letter from an adoptee

Please read this brutally honest letter. I'm not adopted but I'm a parent to 3 children came from Korea. One of them has their own hurts surrounding their adoption. That child has lots of questions...some of them are easy for me to answer because I have the information, others are deep thought provoking ones. I take those questions as they come and answer those that I can whether they are easy to answer or hard to answer. Sometimes that answer is "I am sorry, I do not know". And I feel horrible that I don't have the answer. "I don't know if your First Mom looked into your eyes and smiled. I don't know if your First Mom's favorite color is blue. I am so sorry that I don't know." Any time a question gets asked, it is always followed up by a hug and kiss.


Please read this article and let me know what you think.

~Jen

A Recent LGA Interview

Hi,

A friend of mine who also adopted from Korea was interviewed recently on the Land of Gazillon Adoptees. I'm hoping that you read it and decide to attend the KAAN conferences even if you haven't adopted from Korea but adopted transracially, are a grandparent to a transracial child, or from the Korean American community. And if you support what KAAN does, please consider donating your money and/or time...it's a worthwhile community!!! And besides I've met many friends there and Martha is just one of them!!

~Jen