We celebrated my son's 4th birthday this week. He has been with us for a little over 3 years. So much has changed. So much is the same. I often wondered when he came to us what his life in Korea was like with his foster family. After meeting his foster mom in Korea, I know that he is still missed so much and so very much loved. He talks about Korea and his foster family often. He saves his money to go back there someday. She won't forget his birthday. She knows after my letters and pictures that he is loved. I can only imagine how she is feeling on his birthday this week.
His First Mom's loneliness and all of her other emotions that she probably is experiencing this week is overwhelming at times for me to even think about. When I do, the tears flow. How does she get through each second of the day? How does she begin to get up out of bed to start her day? For me, I have little choice in the matter since three little ones need me to feed them, bathe them, clothe them and more. But for her it must be so hard just to get through the day. I imagine her wondering how her child is doing and if he is loved and being taken care of. I imagine her wondering what he looks like now, what are his likes/dislikes, does he think of me, and so much more.
So in this happy time, we have sorrow as well for a woman who gave birth to him that we haven't met living half a world away. Even though we haven't met her, she is a part of our family now. We also have sorrow for the foster family who is a part of our family as well. We love them both as members of our family.
Happy 4th Birthday my buddy!!! You are loved by three Mommies and missed by two of them more than either one of us will know.
~Jen
