Ryan and Katie sillies this afternoon

Ryan: Mommy Mommy Mommy
Me: Yes Ryan
Ryan: I see a Mourning Duck
Me: A what?
Ryan: You know a Mourning Duck...it's walking around on our patio
Me: I think you mean Mourning Dove sweetie

Katie: Mommy Mommy
Me: Yes Katie
Katie: I see a Mourning Duck
Me: It's a Mourning Dove sweetheart
Ryan: No Mommy, it's definitely a Mourning Duck...it's says quack quack quack
Me: Okay Ryan and Katie the Mourning DOVE doesn't say quack quack quack only ducks do that
Ryan: that's why it's a Mourning DUCK!!!!
Me: (shaking head)

Ryan and Katie erupt in giggles at this point.

I'm wondering what other things once Bella starts talking I'll be told.

~Jen

Family Anniversary Day # 3 for Ryan

I thought I would reminisce a little bit and I hope my readers don't mind...

April 12th, 2005

We get the call before 9 in the morning, the one that we've been waiting for, our son is coming home. I'm full of mixed emotions. I'm happy for us, I'm crying over his losses (loss of birthcountry, loss of language, loss of his foster mom, loss of his First Mom, and more), I'm worried (for him, for his foster mom, for his First Mom). We scramble around to get everything ready...all of the last minute preparations.

April 13th, 2005

Jeff is home calling up limo companies until he finds one that will work with us for a reasonable fee. I'm busy packing and repacking the diaper bags and other things for the limo. We prepare the bottles for him. My in-laws are here...they are accompanying us to the airport the next morning. He's in flight with his escort flying from Incheon to Tokyo to JFK airport. I find myself not being able to sleep that night.

April 14th, 2005

My parents arrive at our home. We are getting ready with the bags for the limo and take pictures of us outside the limo and inside of it. I'm sick to my stomach with worry and wonder on how he is and how his foster family is. At the airport we meet a couple from my college alma mater who are expecting the arrival of their first son as well.

There are 3 other couples waiting at the airport with us. They were with a different adoption agency than us. We are waiting for our greeter to come out with the 4 boys along with her own sons that are helping her out. After awhile we were told that "the babies are coming the babies are coming". We all rushed over to the area where the passengers were coming out into the rest of the concourse area where we were. I was directed to the double stroller to the little boy in the back.

I was told that I had to check for his ID bracelet but I couldn't find it. After me frantically checking without any luck, the greeter helped me find it. I immediately tried to take him out of the stroller but had no luck...silly me forgot that he was strapped in. After undoing the straps, I got him out and held him tight. At that point, I didn't notice that we were in an airport terminal, didn't notice all of the other parents around us, didn't notice all of the other people. This little boy who was looking everybody with various emotions in his eyes and on his face.

He went to Jeff and loved playing with his zipper at the airport zipping it up and down. Jeff took him to the telephones there and he pushed every button he could on those phones not once or twice or even three times but many times.

We met one of my friends, Maria who is his Godmother, at the airport...she came to see our little man. Maria gave him a wonderful gift--a Paddington bear and an outfit.

We left JFK airport during evening rush hour...YIKES!!!!! Ryan disliked his carseat at first but got used to it. He loved the rest of the limo ride back home. He pointed at the buttons for the radio in his view and Jeff or I would push the buttons to change the radio stations. In the Hudson Valley area of NYS, we found a soft jazz station that he seemed to like so we left it on there until we lost the station. I was happy in the limo but sad too.

We arrived around 10:30 at night. We didn't know that Ryan could walk. When I put him down on the floor, it was then that I saw that he could walk. I screamed out "look...he's walking, he's walking!!!!". I couldn't believe my eyes. We had no clue. Ryan stayed up until 2 am that first night since he was on Korea time. We stayed up with him and played with toys in the family room.

After that, it was bedtime for all of us. Before I went to sleep that night, my thoughts drifted to the family that took care of him for so many months of his life along with the woman who gave birth to him. I have been thinking of you both daily. I extend my wish of health and happiness always to the foster family as well as my friendship.

My Birthday...

Wow I'm another year older. Another year to reflect on what has happened since my last birthday.

Here are some big moments:

(1) Ryan turned 3 in May
(2) I get the call about Bella from our social worker in late June
(3) Next day we attended Camp Mujigae in June (boy was I ever in a daze)
(4) Get medical/developmental information about Bella in mid July
(5) Decided to adopt Bella in mid July
(6) Attended the KAAN Conference in Boston in late July
(7) Decided to travel to Korea in late July
(8) Katie celebrated her 2nd birthday in mid August
(9) Our application with USCIS (formerly INS) gets approval in late September
(10) Got the travel call from our adoption agency that Bella was ready in late October
(11) Traveled to Korea in late November
(12) Met both foster moms in late November
(13) Had an bad airplane flight home due to turbulence (so much so that I'm surprised that I got back into an airplane for the 2nd leg of the trip) and Bella's reaction to everything in flight and at the airports in late November
(14) Got welcomed at the airport by family and friends at 11:30 something at night in late November
(15) Thanksgiving was 2 days after our arrival home and held in our home but I didn't cook at all (thank you Mom) in late November
(16) Bella celebrated her first Christmas here in December
(17) Bella took her first step to me (the other two kids took theirs to Daddy) in early January
(18) Bella celebrated her first Valentine's here as well as her first birthday celebration with family and friends eating a Korean meal in mid February
(19) Katie celebrated her 2nd Family Anniversary Day in late March
(20) Having daily thoughts about the First Mom and my children's foster moms
(21) and now it's my birthday all over again


I'm wondering what the next year will bring me. Sorry folks I'm not one to kiss and tell about my age but just ask Jeff and he'll tell you I'm 21. I asked Ryan recently and he stated that I'm 6 years old (it's a joke between him and his Uncle Kevin). I asked the kids again today and he told me that I'm 5 years old. Not bad...I like his thinking. So next year I'll be 6 or 7 years old maybe (unless of course I age in reverse)...I'll have to ask him again next year.

~Jen

Family Anniversary Day #2 for Katie

We here would like to say that Katie celebrated her 2nd Family Anniversary Day with us quietly here at home. While we were celebrating, tears also flowed for what this means to her, to her foster mom, and to her First Mom. It's a bittersweet day for us. We told her the story of how she came to us...a story which will be told time and time again to her.

I hope that her foster mom and the foster family were okay today. We extend our love to them since they took care of her when we could not. We extend our wishes of health and happiness always to them as well as our friendship.

~Jen

Sheer Sadness...

While my thoughts have been drifting to Korea during the past several days, my thoughts are also here in the US. There's an extremely sad story coming out of Iowa. A man, a former banker who allegedly embezzled $560,000 from his former employer, apparently took a bat and killed his wife and his 4 children (age 10, 7, 5, and 3). These poor kids were adopted from South Korea. Then he took his own life.

While this is tragic for the extended families involved, it is also tragic in the Iowan town that this occured in, tragic for Iowans as a whole, for anybody who has a wife and/or children, tragic for these particular children's foster mothers who had cared for these children for many months, tragic for the social workers both here in the US and overseas in Korea, tragic for those working at both adoption agencies here in the US and in Korea, tragic for these children's First Moms, and tragic overseas in Korea where it is in the media there as well.

Tragedy in Iowa is in Media Half Way Around the World

Yonhap News Article about Sueppels

I have cried so many tears about this. Even Jeff wanted to know why the senseless action on behalf of the dad.

I pray here for all involved in this senseless act.

~Jen

More letter writing...

Now that the letter to Bella's Foster mom is done and given to our social worker, I can turn some attention to writing up a letter to Ryan and Katie's foster mom. I wanted to do this before the meeting with our social worker today but was playing with the kids instead and preparing for this morning's meeting. I hope to get the letter written to her soon.

Even though we met her in November when we flew to Korea to pick up Bella, I still find myself with so much to tell her. So much to say, so many pictures to choose from and so many of them to send.

My son and my daughter are hers as well...she helped raise them when I wasn't able to be there. She bathed them, clothed them, fed them, she was there to dry the eyes and there to see the smiles. Not to mention the fact that she loved them and still does. Now isn't that what makes a mother a mother??

~Jen

Letter writing and pictures

Jeff and I have been preparing for our social worker to come visit us tomorrow (the 28th) for our 2nd post placement visit. I have completed the post placement form plus attachment. The hardest thing for me is writing the letter to the Foster mom. Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to it's more that it's emotional for me.

My thoughts drift far from my work that I need to do. My thoughts are in Korea. I wonder how the foster family is doing. I wonder how the First Mom is doing. Writing the letter is a labor of love. Normally I spend a week doing writing the letter. I write some of it and cry then take a break come back to it and write some more. All of it comes direct from the heart.

Pictures are even harder. How does one select a few from so many? I am always sending a little more than what was suggested just because I can't choose.

I always hope that the foster mom will like the pictures that the letter is understandable.

While tomorrow I'll feel like I'm talking to a long lost friend, tonight is a night of reflection and thoughts which drift to Korea.

~Jen